oculusriffs | inbox for balance

[Set to phallic.

Was that a mistake? Ryuji looks down at the carrot in his hand, the realization that he just said he was hung and not hungry, and then casually nods. You know what? Fuck it. They're stuck in this hell together.]

Yeah, I got dick on the brain pretty much all the time.

[The merchant is so horrified. Don't do this, Ryuji. Meanwhile, he's pretty content with what he just dropped, and proud, too that he didn't fade away into a bashful state of nonexistence. Improvement! Maybe.

Or maybe the burger is filling him with determination. It's really gosh darn good. They should leave this stall forever. Good bye, weird carrot seller.

What the hell is he going to do with a carrot. Smoothie?]

... this is kinda new. The last time there were burgers in the caf, they tasted like sweaty jock strap. [How would he...] But the meat's all like... perfectly put together, the lettuce is crisp as shit... it's like... ugh. Meaty explosions for days. Good choice, babe.

[He takes another bite and his eyes go wide. Wait, rewind, what did he just call him? Don't bring attention to it. He looks away, trying to play it off as he devours another healthy chunk of the meal.]

Uh...hem, anyway, you're up next.

What?

[why is it that they're both perfectly content with their accidental tripping into hung dick blooper hell, but the moment a casual, but very potent, term of endearment slips its way out for the first time, they're suddenly shot straight into completely flustered ... ville?]

[no ... no, never mind that question, Ryuji. he actually doesn't mind being called babe. the tinge of red that's sneaking past the rims of his shades is mostly just a surprised reaction. he plays it off, in a way that he hopes conveys that he's not really bothered, sidestepping a pace so they're standing nearly shoulder to shoulder.]

I mean, you're saying you're It now, right? Got it.

Dunno about the burgers, though. This is the first time I saw 'em here and they looked actually edible.

[For a whole hot 15 seconds, right before Dave catches right up to him, he thinks maybe that slip was one of those sliding into home plate, but actually winding up 3 degrees north of it and not realizing it, only to have the umpire shout "OUT!" and realize that he's being tagged with a ball. Gulp!

He'll have to be careful with the spell level of that word. With great power comes great responsibility.]

Jokes on you! I'm always "it."

[Pretending to be a lot more cocky than he really is, he crookedly smiles and then spots the dude he paid a little bit of cash to wear his (god, please don't let it be) stinky jacket.]

Oy.

[And with a small yank, he grabs by the collar and rings the poor person out as he's yanked back. This was a move that he mastered on Gundam, coming to life months later in his proficiency. But he has his jacket back, which is important. This is up there with The Most Important items he owns. Memories being associated to it, and all.]

Not gonna lie, the first time we were here, I was, like... thumbing through the menu and tried almost everything. Eating protein powder for as long as we did...

Shit was grossty.

[Toast, however, is off the menu for some time to come.]

Mmn. Okay, so... what do I give ya? Like... 15 minutes? Is that too much time? Am I supposed to close my eyes? How's this shit work. I know it's my game idea, but. We're technically training right now.

[honestly, after eight months of toast and corresponding flavorless protein spread, if Dave never sees a piece of half burned bread, or hears the crunch of toast, or brushes a pile of toast crumbs off the table, ever again, it'll be far, far too soon.]

[he might actually get sick if he tried to eat it again.]

Yeah, I feel you. [phrasing!!!]

Fifteen minutes is enough time for me, though. You don't gotta close your eyes or anything — just chill here for a few, then start looking when time's up.

[casually, he bumps at Ryuji's shoulder with his own. and then, just as casually:]

Babe.

[he turns, and then is gone.]

[when those fifteen minutes are up, though, his general location is clear enough. he's in the Quad. maybe somewhere back by a patch of trees.]

[With a twisted smirk at that ill-worded comment, he feels a little bit of a charmed comeback curling its way up to his vocal chords, but culls it back a tad. The carrot in his hand should probably be enough to explain where he's going with that joke, but, you know, it's okay. It can be left open to interpretation.]

Okay, I'll wait 15---

[Hey.

Hey what the fuck! Is that a paralyzing strike or what? Ryuji just got called babe, and here he is, in the market, unable to do a damn thing about it. He watches him leave out of sight, and takes a comfortable spot up against a nearby building wall, shaking his head at himself.]

Sneaky little bastard.

[One that he can't live without.

And 15 minutes is kind of torture. He can be good for 5 minutes, easy. 10 minutes? Okay, a little boring, but by 15, he's so done with people watching that he can't take standing still any longer. Not that he was particularly good at just being still either, adjusting weight from one leg to the other.

Burger's already on the way to toilettown in the future, and he closes his eyes, tries to feel out where Dave's going to be. It's surprisingly easy enough to do, especially when the image he has in his head of him is so strong as it is, and he realizes that the GPS is pretty much always on, even if he wasn't explicitly trying to pay attention to it and hone in on the location. It's a really weird, new feeling. Different than danger sense. It's knowing where home is just by looking up at a star. That kind of gut inclination. So he starts walking, and it doesn't take him that long to end up in the Quad, and somewhere into a familiar cluster of trees.

Is he hiding out in the open? In a branch? Behind a tree's line of sight? Ryuji will start looking.]

This is so freaking cool. [He turns his head, feeling something in that direction.] And when I getcha, your ass is grass.

[heh.]

[the sneaky little bastard, meanwhile, simply relaxes where he is, focusing on his senses, mentally following along as Ryuji approaches, like two points on a line moving to meet each other, or like two magnets that always follow the shortest trajectory right back to each other. it's a promise, one he can sense it in real time and in his entire being, as Ryuji walks to the Quad toward him, fulfilling it as he's done so many times already. he can't pinpoint an exact location, but everything about Ryuji is so seared into his mind that if he closes his eyes, he's pretty sure he can actually see him as he's making his way downtown, walking fast; faces pass, because he's home bound.]

[and that promise and this oath magic are one in the same, giving a firm tangibility to something he'd already known was a given — and there's a moment where he thinks to himself that he'd do pretty much anything to be as reliable and easy to depend on as Ryuji has been to him. to make sure that if Ryuji needs him, all he has to do is close his eyes for a moment, and have that sense of reassurance as Dave walks, running back to him at the drop of a hat. the same sort of comfort he's feeling right now.]

[he leans back against the tree trunk attached to the tree branch he's chilling out on, and smiles to himself. god, he loves that vulgar boy — and sensing that he's now in his immediate vicinity, and seeing that familiar silhouette, and then familiar face, looking around for him only amplifies it.]

[anyway, once Ryuji is close enough to the tree Dave's chilling out in, and if he doesn't look up in time, he's going to go ahead and drop the cowboy hat on his head. congrats, Ryuji, you've found him.]

[At the drop of a hat, huh?

Ryuji's a little lost at the moment, since he's looking straight ahead, peering over to see if there are shadows on the floor that would be a dead giveaway for a person who's playing and go seek to inevitably be found with. Nothing. GoSearch maps, at it again, when you pull up to the address and still have to give a little bit of a lookover to see which one's the right place.

But he knows he's here, and just as he starts to get the sense that he's not on the ground, he starts to turn his chin upward to the sky, and- well, hot damn. Giddy up, dude.]

Oy!

[There's an echo from the inside of the cowboy hat, and as he draws it upward on top of his head, he finishes looking upward, cheeky smile on his face. It's that same rambunctious smile that he gives Dave when he's pretty much up to no good. Slowly, he reaches down to his belt, and draws out a weapon.

Never mind that the weapon is just an index finger and a thumb held out in the likeness of a gun, it's all about cognition. Ryuji hums out that iconic WHAUM WHAUM WHAUM sound.]

Gutsy of you to show your face in this one horse town again, Dave the Kid. Y'know there's a bounty on your head, in the tune of 1,000 ramen coupons.

[Pointing his gun at him.]

Come down quietly and we don't have to disturb... the Mrs's around these here fine parts. Nice and quiet, just you 'n me.

[oh ... is that what they're doing now? LARPing out a bonafide space spaghetti western?]

Why am I not surprised that you'd turn total bounty hunter for ramen coupons? [to think that Ryuji would turn on him the second some hot noods became a very real prospect! just look at the betrayal written all over Dave's smirk.]

[this is also especially funny because if there is actually anyone here who has a slight Texas affect, like how they tend to use in these westerns, it's Dave. it tends to slip out a bit more when he's flustered, though.]

Sorry bro, I'm comfortable up here. Plus, the view's pretty sweet.

[Yeah, they're about one tumbleweed out from doing a high noon dance around the clocktower, guns cocked and ready to go down in ultimate smash bros style. Ryuji's also having a little bit too much fun with this entire thing, but... y'know, he likes getting down to the dumb, goofy shit when it comes to messing around with Dave.]

It's a dog eat dog world out there. When coups are on the line, ain't no tellin' who's gonna show up through those double swingin' doors.

[This is especially ridiculous, since he can actually pull off the Clint Eastwood accent (albeit really, really, really horribly) when they're speaking to each other in common.

Ryuji's feign lack of compassion at the moment stirs to life though, as he raises his finger and thumb higher up in the air.]

Takin' you down is a downright honor. Yer funeral.

[Bang!

He shoots.

Blanks.]

Edited 2019-01-07 04:33 (UTC)

[WOW. bounty'd in cold blood. but Dave wiggles very slightly, gauging the distance from the branch he's sitting on to the ground, before he slides right off, landing in a crouch in what is probably the smoothest maneuver he'll ever pull off. that was it right there. he's officially peaked.]

All right, you got me — was the accent that finally did me in; I'll go quietly.

[without putting his hands up, though, so who's to say if that white flag he's raising is sincere? maybe Dave the Kid's got some other escape plan up his sleeve.]

Well, maybe not the quiet part. [lol.]

Nice job, by the way. You didn't even hesitate on your way over here.

[Look at that perfect dismount! 10, 10, 10... and that's an 8 from the Ryussian judge. Go figure. He offers a wide smile at it though, considering that he's still playing along with the entire ruse.

Still, he's the law of the land here, and he doesn't put away his fingergun. Dave the Kid is known for his mysterious ways. The type of ways that has helped him evade being arrested for far, far too long. And this old bounty hunter over here is weak enough to fall for that silver tongued rascal.]

It's cool, I expected you to come kickin' and screaming anyway.

[You know what would be great right now? A fishnet.]

Hey, you tracked me tracking you? That feels like watchin' me text you by readin' over my shoulder.

You say it like I don't do that already.

[he's kidding. but Dave seems cooperative, here, like he may actually go to space cowboy jail without much of a fuss, if at all.]

[suspicious.]

You mean you weren't tracking me while you were busy cowboying it up in town, though? And buying weird produce, apparently.

[He holds up the carrot that he definitely still has that was, up until a moment ago, hanging out of his pocket.

Yeah, was that a carrot in your pants or were you happy to see me?]

Hey, on that creepy ass note, I don't really care anyway. Ain't like I text people stuff I wouldn't show you anyway.

[Aside from it being true, his bracer's pretty much always open for inspection and dumb self-texts if he ever has the inclination, and then... he huffs out a sigh.]

I can't believe I missed an opportunity to use this goddamn mutant carrot as a bazooka gun. Okay, since you're comin' in quietly, I don't gotta tie your hands up, right?

[nah, the jealous boyfriend shtick doesn't really suit Dave. he's more apt to get overly anxious about himself and his own perceived shortcomings rather than the people he loves. and his trust in Ryuji is absolute; they've been trying so hard to be what the other needs that there's no way that trust wouldn't be there.]

[though, he can be the kinda clingy sort when the mood strikes. kinda like right now; a fugitive tying his hand up with the sheriff's hand, fingers interlocking.]

Maybe hang on to it for the next crime I commit. [how long does it take for mutant carrots to go bad?]

[he'll have to get on the crime business thing sooner.]

You wanna do this training thing some more, or you got something else in mind?

You're makin' my job here really easy, dude.

[Which had a few layers of meaning as Dave holds his hand like this. Ryuji gives a small squeeze back to let him know that he's actually pretty appreciative of that gesture, since turning himself in was admirable in and of itself.

Probably a month until that thing needs to get thrown out or replanted. Don't let him near the greenhouse, though.]

I dunno how else to test this oath thingy, but I'd say the results of this entire experiment turned out pretty well. [Oh, god, can he really consort with a sworn enemy like this? He lifts their connected hands and presses his lips down a little north of Dave's wrist. He sure can. It feels somewhat congratulatory, actually.]

Don't got any plans after this. We could... go back to my place and cuddle over some webflix if you wanna. Or... y'know, we could always try to turn Qrow's office pink and see if we can get away with it.

[Ryuji's somehow turning this into a conjugal visit before Dave can even be thrown in prison for his long list of space crimes. which is probably why this convict's all smirks over the gesture, and both of those suggestions.]

Bein' serious for a minute here, it probably doesn't hurt to, like. Practice this shit once in a while. My Ryuji radar's pretty damn strong, but it's still not something I wanna risk losing.

But I'm into both of those ideas. 'Cause one of them sounds like a crime, and the other sounds like an alibi.

[a true old Western criminal never truly reforms, after all.]

Man, you really are a mastermind, aren't you? Why are you so sexy when you do it.

[That one is a lot less of a blunder and way more of a sincere compliment, for once, and it doesn't take much for him to follow along with that. With everything, more or less.]

If it's like a muscle, we should work it out. I bet if we get really good at this shit, we can probably... I dunno, actually pinpoint exact locations. I'm with ya. Let's try it out every now and then. I'll try to make it harder every time.

[Not just the GPS component too, but he wants to learn how to read Dave's state. It's easy enough to find him, but knowing if he's scared, or if he's confident, or if he's up to no good... that stuff could be important too.]

Alright, 'nuff said. Let's go trash Qrow's office.

[if Ryuji isn't getting quite a clear picture on how Dave is feeling, it's not due to a shortcoming on Ryuji's end — it's just Dave still working on shoving aside the shields and really let his heart live on his sleeve, like he tries so hard to do when they're hanging out together.]

[he's leaps and bounds ahead of where he was eight months ago. hence the smile. hence the little blip of amusement and affection that pings on the paladin radar, if Ryuji cares to feel it out. his heart is there. it's in Ryuji's hands. but he may always be a work in progress.]

I think that's just a mastermind thing, bro. [is it actually, Dave?]

But just say the word whenever you wanna practice. Or mind meld it or whatever.

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