dave strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oculusriffs) wrote2018-11-11 07:18 pm
oculusriffs) wrote2018-11-11 07:18 pm
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TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it
[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person.]
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[it's not all that important, just more of a buildup question to the one he had really wanted to ask.]
[in any case, there are a lot of words the two of them have come up with for each other the past half a year. cute. dork. Mufasa. Lois. Clark.]
[safe.]
[but home is a new one — veering off into uncharted territory like the planet they'd lived over for six months, and a single syllable is like a jolt straight to his heart, sending it skipping wildly around his ribcage. up until ... nearly this very moment, until the Director had pulled him to yet another universe where he technically didn't really belong, Dave had always wrestled with a thought in the back of his mind, reminding him that he had no say in where his own road was winding. that there'd come a moment where he'd have to admit that he'd already reached the end of his story, and that he had no say in when exactly he'd have to return to that final page. wander through the dream bubbles for the rest of eternity, searching for an escape, but never finding one, still looking long after the Earth that belongs to Ryuji had already been ground to dust.]
[okay, but that's not what's actually happened here.]
[it wasn't exactly his doing, but he's already somehow gone and defied the back cover snapping over him, to continue the storybook imagery. kept on walking when there weren't even any pages left to write on. leaped across two universes like it was nothing, as if that were his destiny, and not the death he'd been unfairly saddled with.]
[if it can happen twice in a row, if other people can manage it, then there's no reason why he can't figure out how to do it, too, when they fix whatever this Hunger's done to the other universes. there's no reason why he can't slam a giant middle finger on the page that says "The End," toss the entire book in the fire and choose to be home for a guy he's pretty sure he loves, even if he's not brave enough to admit it, instead.]
[Dave twists slightly, so he can better draw Ryuji into both his arms, wrap him up in a new resolve he's just gone and found, to go alongside the promises he's already trying so hard to keep. wherever Ryuji goes? he'll do everything and then some to make sure he's able to follow.]
Yeah, I get you. [sorry if he's squeezing too hard, that's apparently something that just happens when one makes a silent promise without actually articulating it. without going through the motions of the sort of oath a paladin would make to someone else, without the magic that comes alongside it. but maybe Dave will figure how those work later when he actually reads his pamphlet.]
If we do wind up in a cardboard box, though ... I get a say in what goes on the walls, right? I'm thinkin' fish nets.
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Fuck fate. Fuck anyone who tells either of them that they can't carve out their own path through things like they've always done. Glaciers can melt and form new valleys, rivers, mountains, Poseidon's Asshole, whatever- changing everything around them in their wake, and so can they. And if it just so happens to land on the tails end of the coin, and really all they have left is a tiny cardboard box in the middle of nowhere, Ryuji would still be happy with being squeezed like he is right now.
(Although, maybe with a little bit less pressure.)
But from Ryuji's perspective, all he sees is himself pouring out an earnest response, one from deep inside him that he couldn't not say, and Dave is turning and pulling him in closer. One of the infinite number of things he can count on is always have a running conversation with him that jumps backwards and forwards, like the pathways of thoughts that got frozen in time and picked up later to be finished. It worked well for someone as scattered, yet forward, as Ryuji, and someone that was often trapped up inside his own head, letting things swirl around until they eventually became blurted out. Maybe it was just one of those things of dating a time player, or maybe it was just them being them. Who knows- but either way, doesn't really matter.
Because, you're here, and Ryuji has never felt more at home than when they have moments like these, where he doesn't want to imagine a world without the person he's already given his heart over to for safekeeping. And at times, he might not be the most level-headed person or best decision maker out there, but his gut constantly tells him that not only is it the right thing, it's pretty much the only thing he wants to do. Love Dave, or something like that.]
Urgh... dude, what're you.
[Private promises are being made, he should be a little more reverent of the momentous occasion. Okay, this is his life now. He's just going to be pancaked in affection. Ryuji could get used to this.]
You sure 'bout that? How the hell are you gonna be able to leave out the front do---oh. Hah, yeah, okay. We don't gotta leave our box. It'll be sweet as hell.
[Yeah, you can definitely decorate, Dave.]
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Yeah. I mean, I kinda like the idea of a nautical theme, now that I'm thinking about it. [there is a torn net already pinned to the wall, after all.]
[and there's suddenly a lot of new things to be thinking about — places to start looking if he's going to keep this promise he just silently made. Dave isn't willing to leave universe hopping to fate a third time, largely because the whole point is to kick the whole concept of fate to the curb, and also because ... well, he doesn't really want being left behind to be an option at all. and if he's going to do this right, then he's probably got a lot of work ahead of him.]
[he'll worry about that tomorrow, though. for now, there's probably something to be said about the way he's sort of refusing to let go, even if he does shift, grip slackening slightly so he can properly rest his head on Ryuji's shoulder, forehead just brushing lightly against his neck. that's not really so much the position one should assume when trying to be emotionally comforting to someone who accidentally destroyed ramen, but it is a state of being that felt completely natural to slip into. and maybe that's a comfort in itself — like maybe the way they are right now is one of the many ways he sees Ryuji as home, too.]
Hey ... are you tired? M'really tired. [that's not a hint to leave at all. if anything, Dave seems to have already settled in for the night, right where he is.]
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...Provided they don't get woken up by a en edgelord looking to create a palace of cardboard for his hamnagerie.
Ryuji tries to wiggle his uninjured hand back to freedom, so that he can do two things: get them in a horizontal position where they can resume octopus'ing the hell out of each other, and make it smooth enough that it doesn't cause a ton of disturbance to this otherwise nice kind of thing they have going. So he'll do that; he'll do the thing, and try not to stab his boyfriend with his collarbone in the process.]
Yeah. [He didn't really need to confirm anything here, but he figures Dave wouldn't mind hearing it. He tries dragging Dave's pillow under his head, and notices almost immediately that it doesn't smell like him yet. One of the downsides of starting over, he guesses.]
Got a feeling... you're gonna be in my dreams again tonight.
[It's not a big revelation, but many of them had Dave in them as it was. And when they're situated with him still up against his shoulder, he shifts a bit so that for a while, until he's too tired to do so, he can idly rake his fingers through his hair. It might not be an immediate sleep, he still has a few things on his mind and it's impossible to calm down completely until those competing things stop vying for his attention, but for the time being, he can lay there and just feel how nice it is to have the weight of someone else on him.]
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[speaking of right now, there's a lot happening that, even by themselves, would probably be plenty enough to reduce Dave to a sleepy stupor. the fact that he's there for him to rest on to begin with. the idle combing of his hair. the light and steady rhythm of breathing. judging by the sudden quiet, that was pretty much a triple critical hit to his HP bar of consciousness.]
[right up until he does that thing where you jolt awake after dozing off sudden and hard, then catch a mild second wind. Dave reaches up and pulls off his shades, because he's apparently a dummy who just keeps accidentally falling asleep in them. it's a goofy habit that's persisted since the days of taking a gentle ball of yarn to the cranium.]
Again, huh? What other stuff you dream about? [that seems like a weird question on the surface. but then, the concept of dreaming normally is kind of weird to Dave — something he took six months to get used to. and as he asks, he draws his arm back around Ryuji, shades held casually between his fingers.]
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Yeah, he's a bit of a dummy, but that's his dummy, who up until pretty recently had a sylladex to stash his shades in when he needed to protect them as he slept. Ryuji can't see his eyes from this angle, not with the way he's lazily smiling into his hair, but he's always adored their tint whenever he sees them.
And, in the attempt to not be a horrible boyfriend and accidentally crush those shades that his best bro had given him, Ryuji will stop for a moment and try to reach out to them and get them over on the nightstand instead. Barring any resistance from Dave, of course- otherwise he won't push and just add a layer of really dumb bullshit to the world of regular people dreaming to the mix.]
Have this recurring one where I'm inside a me-sized hamster ball and Goodbye Kitty is chasin' me around Tokyo, but he's, like... I dunno, 15 feet tall and breathes out these massive lookin' tunas like fire breath.
[Yeah, that's dumb. But the other dreams he has all run the gamut from boring to kind of really shitty. He doesn't know if he's slept with Dave during the ones where he relives his leg getting broken, but it does come up every now and again. Dreams being dreams, though, there's always something off about the entire thing. Like instead of being at school, it'll happen in a shopping mall. Or on the subway and no one cares as it happens. That sort of stuff.]
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[he's not really thinking about that though. pretty much every single alert brain cell is currently devoted to trying to imagine Ryuji roll around Tokyo like some sort of Dark Deva of Destruction, while some sort of giant angry Tuna Lisa is in hot pursuit. he might not be able to see Dave's eyes, but maybe Ryuji can spot the way his brows furrow in concentration over this apparently very important mental image.]
Y'know, I don't normally knock people for weird dream shit, but ... that's really fuckin' weird, dude.
[that piece said, he shifts a little, rolling his shoulder. Ryuji's liable to put him right back to sleep the longer he continues with the light head scratch.]
I had dreams like that up until I was 13. Then it was dream selves and dream bubbles and dumb shit like that for three years ... it kinda took a while to adjust to dreaming normally again.
— As normal as dreams about bein' a giant hamster can get, anyway.
fuckin tuna lisa.
[He's entirely offended by the "fuckin' weird" part of that, but he's also a really bad actor and can't keep a straight face to save his life. Not to mention the way his chest vibrates upward as he tries to eat down a laugh that's getting caught at the back of his throat. Kind of hard to miss that when he's practically giving Dave an earthquake from it.
Ryuji also regrets that a little bit, seeing as how Dave looks pretty comfy over there, and it's not like he actively wants to keep him awake just after coming out and saying that he was tired. They've had a good number of conversations about the absolute shit-tier crap that Dave went through after his life got all video gamed and quest gated and god gated, a whole lot of gates and hoops to jump through, but he's racking his head at trying to remember anything about being dream gated. Bubbles, other selves...]
Dream bubbles? Dude, you lost me.
[And, as if his concentration had to be split between touching Dave's head or talking to him, his hand stops moving. He's kind of curious about what he's dreamed about ever since then, too. He'll just throw the second question out anyway and let him take whichever one, or both, that he wants to pick up.]
I just told you a deep ass part about my soul, so you're gonna have to fess up next.
its my best work yet
[it’s not like he has room to judge on weird dreams. if the initiation test is any indicator, if the way his contribution to the landscape was a really dumb giant skateboard, then his own subconscious also apparently favors the oversized recreational gear. ... which just makes him wonder if they actually make human sized hamster exercise balls for people to roll around in.]
[..... hm.]
[anyway, he’s also only capable of focusing on one thing at a time, though, so he goes for the question that’s easiest to answer.]
Yeah, dream bubbles are just these literal bubbles floating out in space. You can use one to visit other people’s dream bubbles while you’re sleeping.
Mostly, though, they’re just like. A dead Sburb player repository. Or an afterlife, if you want a less stupid way of putting it. Most of the ones we passed through were full of ghosts.
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Dead players, huh... Sorry, man. That musta been rough.
[It makes him somewhat uncomfortable to think about, though. The idea of something happening to Dave has crossed his mind so many times since being on the station and having to deal with a constant, real threat that the next thing that happened to them could have been the last... the idea of of this not happening right now- Dave being nuzzled up in his arms- it's pretty unacceptable.]
Just... fallin' asleep and bein' able to talk to people you'd never see otherwise. I guess it's better that you're dealin' with regular weird dreams instead, or somethin'.
[His hand eventually lowers so that it's just resting against his back, keeping him nice and secure against him.]
Gotta wonder, though, if that's really how it goes down. Everyone believes in different shit about the afterlife. Us Japanese people... it's either Shinto or Buddhist. You die and your spirit goes down into some sorta underground cave and gets recycled into all the other spirits, or you get stuck being born again to get a second round to do it better than the last. Eh, I don't really put a lotta stock in either.
But shit, if I was reborn and that was actually how it happens, all I know is that I hope I'd get to see you again.
[Ryuji...]
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[the second wind is starting to wear off, and Ryuji keeping him both steady and nice and warm is only hastening it, like a dust devil lazily unswirling itself, settling down to rest. whatever anxieties he had about this new base or this new quest earlier don't matter a single lick right now. all that matters is that he's on the very strong side of relaxed, and that's all thanks to the way he's being held by his boyfriend right now.]
Personally, though? Most religions sound like bullshit to me. Doesn't discount the idea there's a place everybody, not just Sburb players, goes to after you die, though. I mean ... leap frogging across entire universes is already a completely provable thing, despite basically nothing about it bein' logical. Who's to say that even an afterlife itself can't be some extension of that?
[...........]
I dunno. That probably doesn't make much sense. I do know, though, that you just said some really sappy shit back there, and now I've gotta do something about it.
[Dave can't really reach Ryuji's mouth from this vantage point, though, so he just goes for a kiss against his jawline instead. it's the perfect punishment. but it's also a reflection of the sentiment — the idea that leaping through realities just to see each other again is both a desire and achievable.]
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The thought that's swirling up in Ryuji's mind is just continually sappy, though, and he's being punished for it. Wherever the door at the end of this entire journey leads, he wants to be the one holding the hand out this time. Go and make a place where they can be- whether it's Tokyo, or Houston, or some magical place where people wear JRPG costumes every day. Doesn't really matter, as long as he's there.
But he doesn't really get the chance to say that when he's being so deeply assaulted with jaw kisses. And Ryuji's pretty weak to those too.]
Ahh... oh noooo... what am I gonna do....
[That's the weakest resistance ever and softly sarcastic. But the way he holds Dave is in place might give a better idea of some of that silly, worried sentimentality. With a wide smile against the top of Dave's head, he takes in the way his hair smells- huh, is that apple?- and settles in for the night in the best way he could think possible; with Dave.]