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[I can't believe Dave is Australian.]

Well yeah. You did bring by a first aid kid, remember? So even the scrapes'll be manageable.

I'm gonna just try to lay low I guess. I told Ren about it and the other guys, too. And it's only right to tell the other guy too. Even if it's my eff up, I'm not gonna lie about it or try to cover it up. That's just not really my style. Whatever, I'll take whatever hate's owed to me.

Anyway, so that's what's been buggin' me. I've been kicking myself in the ass about it, but uh

I like talkin' to you, it's kinda got a way of calmin' me down.

[man, he'd take some vegemite to put on the space toast at this point. and also, he's never actually had vegemite, so he has no idea if he'd even like it or not anyway.]

[at some point during this conversation, he'd left his spot where he was watching the planet below and returned to his quarters, sprawled out as comfortably as one can on an uncomfortable space bed. and reading that last text gets something of a smirk out of him.]

alright so
bailing you out of panic jams it is
its cool though
dont really know a lot of people willing to own up to themselves like that
so at least from where im sitting
uncomfortable as this stupid room is
thats gotta count for something

[And you'd think with how close Australia actually is to Japan that some of it would make its way into their markets. But, no. One day Dave will have to learn what natto is, if he doesn't have a clue already. Then he'll know true pain.]

Guess it kinda depends. This station's a new start, right? We don't know how long we're gonna be on it, but it seems like it's gonna be like this for a long time. Whatever the hell was goin' on back home doesn't really matter anymore. It's sad when you think about it like that, but it's also freeing in a way. You can be whoever you wanna be.

Unless you're tryin' to be comfortable in these janky ass beds. That's probably never gonna happen.

[why do you want to see Dave suffer through natto!!]

you really think so

[there's a thought he's been unconsciously afraid to let in. maybe it's because, as shitty as this place is, there's a lot he has to lose by being fazed or zapped or whatever back home. there's a timeline here, and when he visualizes it, he sees that there's a future, an unknown, and he can see himself walking toward it. that's not really a luxury that the dream bubbles afford.]

[it's like one of those things where you know it's too good to be true, because you can see how rotten parts of it have become right there on the tin, and it'd be smart not to get your hopes up about it. he figures pretty much everybody else on board would be better off back home. and if he were the uber-ironic kid trying so hard to be as cool as possible about everything like he was when he was 13, maybe that line of reasoning would make it easier to convince himself not to get close to anybody. but Dave is a lot more sensitive and desperate for affection than that, and he can't help but let people in anyway.]

not the bed thing
i know a battle im never gonna win when i see it
i mean
im thinking i kinda like the idea of shedding my title
knight of time is pretty fuckin stupid anyway
just plain old dave is fine
or dave of guy if you insist on the nomenclature
thats pretty fuckin stupid too i guess
but at least its new
and if anything theres cool people here to start over with

[Wow, that comment about battles that can't be won is pretty on the nose. Not that Ryuji's any wiser to it, but he agrees- sleeping on these things has put a new appreciation for futons back home.]

Hell yeah man. Always go for stupid, it's more fun that way anyway

I dub thee, Dave of Guy. Arise, young guy and live out your dreams.

Or something like that

If you didn't get the chance to have normal back where you're from, cling onto that shit like undies sliding up your crack in humid weather

[Fucking hell.]

Thanks for calling me cool btw :)

Edited 2018-07-02 04:57 (UTC)

like undies sliding up your crack in humid weather
is it too late to take the cool part back

[like the texts you've both thought up and were dumb enough to send have been any better, Dave.]

[that's why he's continuing the line of thought.]

also
is that what being a normal dude of guy is really about
living with the constant threat of sweat wedgies

Wow you can't just take something back like that. It'll just become this long cycle of take-backsies and then we're both gonna be screwed because nothing we ever say that's nice about each other will ever be solid ground to stand on

And yeah

Gross swamp ass is pretty much the hallmark of being a regular guy. I guess you could graduate to boxer briefs but that's as good as asking to level up the ranks and I thought that was s'posed to be something you weren't interested in.

is that how this works
like were operating on a karmic balance of cool
because ive got more than enough backlogged

[not anymore you don't, Dave. you just blew threw it all in fewer characters than the average tweet.]

im willing to sacrifice a little bit of regular to keep my magic jammies
i miss those things
comfy as shit and always clean no matter what
no risk of swamp ass in those

Lmao that's such bullshit and I'm totally callin' you out on it. What's that phrase? You don't miss your water until the well runs dry?

[THAT... DOESN'T HAVE THE CONNOTATION YOU THINK IT DOES.]

Now all you need is like

An internal cooling system on your pjs in case it does get hot

I mean you can't actually STOP the swamp ass but at least your clothes'll be better off not growing the gnarly painful need for tide pods

Man I miss those things

Handwashing these jumpsuits sucks

I should reconsider my monkey set

Maybe they're magical

Shit, if they are, you can totally have them. I promise it'll come sweat free.

Edited 2018-07-05 04:17 (UTC)

oh my god

[who gave these dorks access to text messages?]

nah thats like a personalized gift from the ghosts
hand picked from whatever the fuck mall theyre pulling this shit from
like they were hanging on a clearance rack at the back of space spencers
took one look at them and they just knew
im surprised they didnt monogram your initials on em
wait
did they
could you check
but i wouldnt want to take the privilege of wearing them away from you

I hope they kept the receipt because I wanna return this shit straight to space uniqlo or wherever the hell they dug this shit up from anyway

Alright

I'll open the cupboard.... and look....

Only cause you asked though

[He does go and check; it takes a minute or two longer to actually respond back. Maybe three or four minutes, because he's currently petting at how fucking soft this shit really is.

God, no one's watching him, right?]

Nope

These space ghosts aren't my mom they're not gonna initial my undies so that they don't get lost somehow. At least I hope they ain't my mom. I wouldn't know what to get them for christmas. What the hell do you get a ghost for christmas?

still dont get why you dont wanna rip them into a blanket
someone has to be able to sleep cozily
unless youre afraid youre gonna catch eau du monkey or something
or youre really planning on wearing them
actually
yeah im goin with that game theory
also considering the lack of basically anything here
regifting is pretty much your only option for christmas
so if you wanna tear the pjs up and give them back to the ghosts
just tell me which toilet to meet you at

I'm pretty sure I'm practically made of eau du monkey like dude I'm surprised you even wanna hang out with me after I've been in the same goddamn 2 jumpsuits and undies for 2 months.

I dunno maybe if it gets super, super ARCTIC in here or something I'll don the jammies and curl up in em. Hell I'll even come over and jump on your bed just so I can fall off and bump my head

Shit will be lit

But when I do eventually flush them down the shitter you know you're gonna be the #1 on my contacts list to give a ring. We kinda have a thing goin' for us and I ain't about to stop any of that sweet, sweet friendship jam

god if i cant smell your essence of marmoset i dont know what that says about me

[grodie. it means you're grodie, Dave.]

i dont know how to treat concussions dude
maybe you should keep your injurious shenanigans where the space plumber doctor can find you
but yeah im completely game for that
ive got some metaphorical shit lying around that i wouldnt mind flushing straight back to the toilet ghosts

Oh it's kinda obvious

My mom used to get those stupid freaking wall plugins that scent the room that you're in. It's how I found out I'm pretty allergic to a bunch of those weird ass ones like sage and lime. Eh, that's not the point I'm tryin' to make

But yeah, you stop noticing the smell after a week or two and then you have a friend come over and they tell you how good your room smells?

I think body funk is kinda the same way. Deodorant wasn't around like 300 years ago, right so like... people probably smelled effin' AWFULLL and no one gave a shit. It's also kinda a weird gross punk thing not to wear the stuff as some sorta act of rebellion but not so much me, I like my pits bein' sporty fresh like I just shoved a car freshener up in there and it's all NEW CAR day

[. . .]

Wait what's the metaphor? Is it shit that's the metaphor or are you talkin' about intangible stuff. Like letting go of some weird feeling you just dunk it down the hole, or... are you getting more "gifts" that need to get taken care of

gross
this entire conversation is making me want to take a shower

[Dave "you smell like if someone took a dump on a butt" Strider. there's no way he's ever been any better, especially after spending three years on a meteor like he did.]

nah its another present from the christmas spirits
uh
actually
this is kind of out of the baseball field or whatever
but you havent seen a guy with a hat and pointy shades around right

Maybe you should? Give the bung a car wash

God this is like encroaching the space of grossness even I can't deal with.

[Embrace the bung.]

Guessin' you're talkin' about the ghost of Christmas past at this point huh

Nah, you're the only shady guy I know on the station

Wait

Shades-guy

Why what's up

[THIS IS SO GROSS WHY ARE THEY SUCH GROSS TEEN BOYS.]

nothing i dont think
just found something that belonged to my bro
wanted to make sure

[he could leave it at that. but leaving it ambiguous sort of implies that he would actually want to bump into his guardian, three years removed from his influence, having finally realized just how wholly unloved he was the first 13 years of his life.]

[he isn't really sure whether to put a warning here, or to just say something else in a way so Ryuji might still understand. he does remember the ramblings — or at least, he's pretty sure he remembers the direction they were heading, before the subject was abruptly changed.]

wouldnt worry about it anyway
its more likely just ghosts pulling their usual shit
probably think theyre fuckin hilarious

[Sometimes you just have to make sure your friends are on top of cleaning their asses.]

There's a ton of people on this station, if someone you were related to showed up wouldn't he like... wanna find you? I dunno, I'd ask around just to make sure.

[Just as he hits send on that last text he gets to thinking that it might not be an actually wanted reunion? Is he getting better at reading Dave?]

The ghosts are probably just drumming up old shit from our pasts to get a rise out of us or make us more vulnerable enough to feed off our negative energy or something

I dunno

Either that or they're really effin' socially inept and think they're helpin' us if that's what they kinda think is helping anyway

Callin' bullshit on that one though

What'd you get?

[he is, indeed! there's an art to it, probably — and the next set of messages all but confirm the leveling up in Dave-reading that Ryuji's done.]

it was a comic
my bro spent most of his time on a bunch of different uh
enterprises
comics bein one of them
they were all part of this steely hyper ironic bro ninja code thing he had going
so the humors hard to explain
mostly because i dont fuckin get it either

[it's the most he's said to anyone about his bro, outside of his friends from home. it's even more than what he'd explained to Dirk, the one person who had the right above anybody else to hear about it. Dave had been too chickenshit to.]

[but, it also speaks to the level of trust that Dave has in Ryuji.]

probably wouldnt hurt to save it for a day the ghosts really deserve it
just flush it right back to sender
well make a holiday of it
clog the toilets with anything were given that isnt worth keeping

[Score! +100 xp in understanding the between the lines text that Dave plays around with. Only a million more levels to go. Except, even if it's a level up, he's not so sure that's a particularly good milestone, this one.]

I have no clue what a hyper ironic bro ninja code is but it sounds kinda lame. Most of the shit you come up with when you're a kid kinda is anyway but judgin' how you have one the best senses of humor around, if you didn't get it it probably wasn't funny

And dude, of course, if you don't want that shit around, just dunk it. Send it right back to the Ghost North Pole where they got all these middle aged elves workin' on sending us care packages with big giant "screw you" ribbons tied all around em

[whoa. Ryuji, sadly, is not in the same room as him, so he's missing the way Dave pretty much just lit up like a fucking Christmas tree, to continue the metaphor, at the compliment.]

maybe youre right
sending bad presents right down the shit shaft is pretty cathartic
at least
in the experience ive had with it so far
it is when youve got an accomplice

Whoa you need to calm down sir

Those are the type of words a dude can get sentimental over

what
im allowed to feel nostalgic over burrito toilet funerals all i want
thats basically our thing now isnt it

Not that I'm opposed to it but shit, outta context that sounds really effin' sad and kinda lame

But, y'know, if it's our thing then yeah I guess that fits too

(no subject)

oculusriffs - 2018-07-17 02:53 (UTC) - Expand