dave strider (
oculusriffs) wrote2018-04-28 11:13 am
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reverienet

TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it
[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person. it's a hunk of junk space house. in space. he's around here somewhere.]
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Grin and bear it, he guesses.]
Yeah. Heart snatching. Like, just shoving my hand into people's chests and ripping them still out. [Holding out his hand, like there's a living, beating thing there, complete with pulsating.]
I'm dangerous, you gotta watch out for me.
I mean. Nah. It wasn't that hardcore. It was all metaphors, anyway.
[What the hell is with the Ghostbuster shit, though?]
Well... we already got the tacky jumpsuits. Now all we need are superpowered soul vacuums.
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They're probably behind one of the locked doors.
[anyway, he pauses, suddenly remembering one of the reasons he came over in the first place. and then he turns, walking over and picking up the first aid kit he'd left on the floor when Lisa approached him.]
Here. [wouldn't want Ryuji to get cat scratch fever or something.]
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[Although he did remember hearing about people phasing through doors and then playing The Floor Is Lava, only the floor was actually liquid metal and trapped you there for a while.
Oh.
Right. Safety first, though. He takes the first aid kit, and opens it up. Did he really need antiseptic and a bandaid for a cat scratch? Probably not. But then again... Lisa could be carrying the uber bacteria. The one that's going to eat everyone's flesh and turn them into zombies.
So he'll just... try to stop that from happening.]
Aw, man. Was totally hoping for Goodbye Kitty ones. [He does that really gross, unsanitary thing where you use your teeth to pull the back of the bandage off. Good job, Ryuji.]
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[if so, then ... that's actually a pretty damn good ironic joke. the layered kind that sort of give you pause, and then you sort of make a face once the realization and understanding hit, and then you pause again to ponder how a person can create such a parfait of multiple meanings. it's like Ryuji's both putting a bandaid over his cat-inflicted wounds and also issuing an underhanded threat to the cat who caused them.]
[color Dave impressed. also, he's going to walk over to the bed, to see if maybe Lisa will allow him a pat. don't use up all the bandages, Ryuji, just in case.]
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That wasn't a pun.
That wasn't even kind of intended. What irony was th---
Goddamnit.
(But in retrospect, it's pretty brilliant)]
Ye...ah. That's what I was goin' for. [But the pink ones were kind of cute. With the little cartoon kitties and the blue bows in their hair? Soulless stare that makes one wonder what eldritch horrors Goodbye Kitty has seen to look so empty on the inside.]
C-careful! [And bam! He's bandaged up. Looks dapper as hell.]
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[Dave can tell that's not what Ryuji actually meant, but he'll let that thought be, and he'll let the Reverie record show that Ryuji made a pretty great joke, though it may have actually been in spite of himself. he'll keep that latter thought to himself, too.]
Yeah, I know.
[he's pretty sure Lisa isn't going to murder him? so what if he just. does something majorly in contrast to what he just finished saying, boldly steps into uncharted space cat territory and straight up plucks her right off the bed. are we rolling for damage? is Dave gonna die.]
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Except not, because this isn't a hostile encounter. In fact, it's so not hostile, that Lisa is just swooned by Dave's innumerable hidden charisma stat, which was stacked in his favor from the beginning. Ryuji, on the other hand, looks on in awe. How one man could contain such a beast just by his bare hands. Clearly he is to be feared and respected.]
I hate you so much.
[Yet his voice doesn't indicate anything of the sort. He'll be forced into the realm of being the Royal Litter Box cleaner for a despot that has no love for him. One day, though. One day he'll get that sweet social link to work in his favor.
Just in case, though, his grip on the first aid kit is admirably fastidious.
Let him love you, Lisa. He has so much of his heart to give.]
Swear... it's like I'm part dog or something.
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[actually ... he'd rather not imagine that, or think about it at all. not right now. the whole thing still stings a lot.]
[but anyway, there's a friendly cat giving his cheek a good squish with a friendly cat headbutt.]
Maybe. [and maybe he's a little smitten with this kitten.]
Maybe Haru can figure out how to grow catnip or something. She can't attack you if she's just chilling.
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Except his isn't so embarrassing, it's just. Dumbly adorable.]
So... you're tellin' me to get my cat high so that she'll chill out long enough for me to cuddle her.
[What could go wrong?]
I'm kinda jealous of you right now, not gonna lie. [Still, he'll keep his distance.]
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[it's probably a good thing he's not chilling out on a couch or something, because honestly? Lisa could probably put him in a serious sleeper hold. he'd just be passed the hell out curled up with a snuggly cat.]
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. If she's too blazed to give a shit, she'll figure out you're cool.
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But, oh, hey, Dave just called him cool. That's pretty damn neat. He'll just be over there, swimming around in the compliment and drinking that shit up like it's air. He doesn't even go through the motion of figuring out if he had meant cool as in having a temperate personality or anything, just. You know. Cool.]
Maybe we'll just have a heart to heart. Build up that trust. And then when the moment hits, she'll brush up against my leg and bury the fish shaped hatchet.
[He wants to go over there so badly and join him, to just pet her head at least once, but he also doesn't want to ruin it for Dave. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, he's more like a hedgehog than a loyal lab.
Or maybe cat's just don't like him.
Eh, whatever.]
You should come by and do this often. Maybe it'll soften her up a little bit. You know, you bein' the cat whisperer and all. You can just be all like "hey, he's a good guy" or something like that. Or whatever you would say, I don't wanna put words in your mouth or anything. Cats can tell when you're bein' disingenuous.
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You want me to put in a good word for you, you mean.
[he pauses, seemingly considering that quite seriously. hmm. he turns Lisa around in his hands to look at her straight on.]
[hm.]
[......... hmmm.]
[finally, he shrugs, still holding her out in front of him, as if he's ready to give her the "don't bite the hand that feeds you" rundown right now.]
Yeah, I can do that. Hey, Lisa — [if only giving a cat a pep talk was the weirdest thing he's done. this doesn't even slightly approach the surface of his entire adventure with the alchemiter. but, Ryuji seems to genuinely want to bond with her, so he'll. give it his best shot??]
You probably shouldn't pick fights with the person scooping your shit.
[....... you can give a better shot than that, Dave.]
I mean, I'm just saying — it's not like you've got pissed off space ghosts taking care of you. Space ghosts can't keep you warm or give ear scratches, and they probably can't smell or actually hold a scoop either, so you'd be cold and stuck with a literal smelly shitbox the rest of your life.
Maybe Ryuji smells weird, too? I dunno, I don't have cat senses. But it's cool, you can trust him.
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Find out next time, on---]
Oh my god.
[He literally just referred to Ryuji as his pooper scooper and he doesn't??? know how he actually feels about that at the moment. He's not wrong, it's just. Man, he's willing to accept the responsibility that comes along with pet ownership no problem, but he doesn't want to talk or hear about the gross litter box cleaning that he has to do- it's a begrudging task that even a true labor of love wouldn't satisfy.
And then, in a smaller voice, just to himself, as his features twist into increasing levels of incredulity:]
Dude...
[This is actually terrible, why did he ask Dave to do this?]
Do I...?
[Ryuji lowers his nose and lifts his shoulder upward a little bit to see if he actually smells. Embarrassing human being, right here.]
I don't smell. [Confirming to himself, really, voice still low and self-assuring.]
Dave... man... that was... super goddamn heartwarming and all, but shit.
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[okay, so his encouraging spiel was kind of gross, and maybe he'd been teasing Ryuji with the whole smelly thing. but he isn't actually lying when he says "dependable." Dave doesn't necessarily trust so easily, nor is he really the type to let people get all that close. so, to have at least two people on board this space station that he feels like he can really trust ... well, it kind of means a lot to him.]
[so, maybe he'd cracked a lot of jokes in his cat pep talk, but the sincerity's there, too. Dave does absolutely think he's dependable. and maybe someday soon he'll figure out how to leave that sentiment somewhere Ryuji can easily find it.]
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[It's one of those cliche things that stuck with Ryuji from a pretty young age. He can't do the lying thing, can't try to impress people with dishonesty, and is pretty much immovable when it comes to the things he values. If people don't like that about him or think he's naive to behave that way, that's their problem.
And granted, the lack of space deodorant is totally shittsville, population: Reverie Station... but like everything related to the way Dave unravels himself, from what Ryuji can see reading between the lines (as bad as he is at that to begin with), is reassuring.]
You... you think it's time to give it a chance or should I wait a bit for it to sink in first?
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[that's a pretty bold thing for Dave to agree on — he is a kid who's got a bad habit of hiding behind his words, after all. but he also had a lot of time stuck on a meteor to think, to grow up a bit, and even though he may have a bizarre habit of accidentally calling people hot moms or just plain saying things he regrets when he's mumbling to himself and someone happens to hear ... he at least tries to make sure the things he does say, when they're directed at friends, aren't too terrible. it's still a work in progress.]
[he turns Lisa back around in his arms, so she's kind of facing Ryuji.]
It's up to you. I think you should go for it, if you want.
[honestly, he's ... not really sure what to do next. should he set Lisa down? should he keep holding onto her, as if, in doing so, he could continue channeling his cat soothing powers he didn't know he had?? he's pretty sure Lisa isn't pissed right now. at least, not yet.]
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Shit. Well here goes nothin'.
[Embracing the possibility that this might end okay, he makes a step closer. Anything? Growling? Hissing? Okay, not so much. Another step, slow, like he's trying to make sure that there's an air of respect and amicability to what he's trying to accomplish. Ryuji should probably breathe a little more instead of holding his breath, as if the halfway distance of the room could carry his own carbon dioxide outward offensively.
Eventually he reaches the bed and sits at the edge.
She looks so cozy. He wants her to like him so much, but he believes that he's relatively poor at those types of social skills, worsened only by the fact of his own negative image in feline-kind's eyes. He looks at Dave, scrunching up his lips to one side of his cheek. Is this going to be okay? Ryuji's hand connects to Lisa's head, fingers curling. This is it. The moment of truth.
He breathes through his nose, unable to hold it in anymore, and presses a soft stroke to her rounded head, scratching just once behind her pointed ears.]
This is effin' unbelievable. [And then, takes his hand back and doesn't push this any farther than that. Ryuji looks abso-freaking-lutely reverent. Like he's just done the impossible.
Cue the cheesiest grin, ever.]
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[which, holy shit, he has no idea what to do with that word. they’ve both already figured out today what happens when it’s blurted out loud. does he just ... compartmentalize it and pretend it never crossed his mind? seems like that’s down the line of how he usually handles confusing thoughts. at the same time, he’s pretty sure cat pat successes shouldn’t go unacknowledged. hey ... say something, Dave.]
[.............]
Not bad.
[not bad. not bad!!!! excellent work, Strider. you really sure can words. he may as well have just said cute and then flushed himself down the ramenized toilet.]
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Wow, that was so eloquent and reassuring, so well deserved and perfectly said. Ryuji, of course, has to stoke the fire-]
Huh? Well, yeah. No shit, sherlock.
[He's still riding out the cool, calm, emotionally stable state of being high off of this mission coming up critical success. Maybe it'll pave the way for a functional relationship between the two. Maybe he'll be seen as more than just a really diligent regal pooper picker upper.
Who knows what's in store?]
That was all you, dude. All I did was---
[He pawses for a moment, looking at Lisa content in Dave's lap, and then upwards. Ryuji really, really can't help himself when it comes to being a dick, so he mirrors the action he just did on the ball of fluff by reaching up and patting Dave on the top of the head once, then twice. But since he's just kitten around, he makes sure not to be in the crosshair of a nuclear swipe attack. Just in case. Just in case.
Flush him first, basically.
And this asshole? Starts chuckling, covering his own mouth to cover it up. He has a cool image to maintain.]
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[you know that little tuft of bangs that's been curling just like his mom's, since he hasn't been able to cut his hair? it just sort of floofs stubbornly right back into place underneath those completely asshole-ish headpats Ryuji just did. Dave can't believe he's done this!]
[and he seems genuinely surprised at first, because Ryuji's actually patted him like he's a goddamn cat, a joking gesture of affection (????) that wasn't a friendly sock on the shoulder or an insult that isn't actually insulting at all.]
[okay, so. time to short circuit, then. he should be mad. he should be pissed, right? like, he should be fucking flying off the handle right now. and he's annoyed, sure, but not actually angry, which is weirdly just as surprising as the fact that he's been headpatted in the first place.]
[his eyes narrow behind the shades. he's feigning anger, for some reason, but even the actual annoyance he does express seems kinda half-hearted.]
You do realize the only reason I'm not kickin' your ass right now is Lisa.
[he says, as he sets Lisa down on the bed.]
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And here comes the hyped up Davefury that Ryuji (kind of) wanted to see, right? An explosion of pure grit, a reclamation for justice in a world of head patting usurpers that needed to have their ass handed to them. One eyebrow quirks upward.]
You don't wanna set a bad example for Lisa, right?
[But he absolutely takes stock of him putting her down and out of reach of any thrashing that's to be had. Preemptively, Ryuji scoots a few seat's widths farther away from Dave.]
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[just.]
[.... nah.]
Yeah, you're right. I'll just have to get you back later.
[he relaxes, rolling his shoulders casually.]
Won't even stop time or anything, and I can still guarantee you won't see it coming.
[could this be even worse than the two of them just duking it out right now? possibly.]
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Ryuji stares at Dave when the heavenly flurry of righteous vengeance doesn't seem to happen, and his eyes wander left and right before quirking a brow upward. Wait, what?]
Are you kiddin' me!?!
[He's outraged, to say the least. His provocations were all for naught. He tried poking the fire, only to be met with the cool indifference of a later. Will he ever be able to sleep again?]
O...kay. But. I bet you didn't see that combing, either.
[Heh.
He high fives... himself.]
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[there's no absconding from the terrible puns, bro. that, and it was actually a pretty good terrible one, so ... so.]
Okay, y'know what? We're supersizing this shit. We're making that a double revenge.
[that's right, now Ryuji has two surprise clapbacks in his future to look forward to.]
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