oculusriffs | ic contact for reverienet

Dude... why are you like this, I literally have no idea all I know is that I helped paint some scenery and put cardboard together are you in can you be my +1 to this shindig????

[DAVE, PLEASE.]

[HE STARTED TYPING ONE QUESTION AND MORE QUESTIONS JUST KEPT FALLING OUT.]

did you really
hell yeah i wanna see your fine artistry backing up some dancing hamsters
is this like a dress jumpsuit or a casual jumpsuit thing

[the difference being, one of them is more recently laundered.]

[WELL THE QUESTIONS START COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING, FED TO THE RULES AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING]

Ehh... it's not really fine artistry... It's really kinda whatever me 'n Hajime could put together. Replicator paint just doesn't work that good

Hey you know I like it when you're a filthy casual

[Smush Smash ... eat the eggs.]

im sure its whatever dude
being good at arts overrated anyway

but yeah ok ill show up toeing the line between filthy casual and slightly too ripe
whats the play about

[Hands down, the most cursed image I have ever seen on the internet. I'm Steve Harwell and there's nothing you can do about it.]

This is somethin' else, hearing it coming from you

The guy who created an art exhibit in space and got rave reviews all over the media

Cool, as long as you're keepin' it FRESH

The play? It's... about nothing. Much ado about it, too. I think. I dunno I didn't read it, that shit is so goddamn heady that by the 5th thee and thou I'm ready to split

[at least now you know that Guy Fieri and Steve Harwell are not, in fact, the same person.]

i think the burritos gonna outlast any other form of art that could be launched out there
if im being honest

wait hang on
yall made a set for a play without knowing what the plays about

[well, now he has to see it.]

[It shows up as a blip on his radar of Not Very Good Ideas, and he suddenly feels like maybe he doesn't need to see his artwork??? Ann had slammed into him once for his calling card, WHICH.... wound up being the basis for the team logo, after some (heavy) revisions.]

IT'S EFFIN' SHAKESPEARE.

No one knows what the hell it's about

Except maybe Alucard I guess? He's throwin' it for Minato

Which also means we gotta bail before it turns into hornyville because I dunno about you but seein' them on the suckface

er..

Suckneck? Express is not reaaaally high up there on my priority list

[on the contrary, watching a play with a completely irrelevant backdrop of a questionable production value is pretty in line with Dave's sense of humor. if the hamsters are squeaking Shakespearean about an enchanted forest with paintings of Tokyo on the background, he'd absolutely love it.]

[anyway, he's getting the sense that Ryuji isn't so much into PDA. that's good to know. not ... not that Dave has found the bravery to get into that himself yet, but.]

oh right the space plumber

[Dave's ... only ever talked to Alucard once, and that's the impression he's stuck with. god.]

i didnt know they were uh
a thing thats happening

[Hajime and Ryuji tried their best, but... well, Dave will see just how bad it actually is if they wind up there. The parts that Ryuji personally worked on will be probably a lot more apparent than the pieces Hajime did.

And, yeah. Partly because it's a cultural difference, and partly because Ryuji gets so easily embarrassed and flustered at, well, everything.]

The space plumber.

[W...hat...]

I didn't either until Alucard asked for some help settin' this romantiful dealie and then when I found out it's for Minato...

It is kinda sweet. And Minato's a good guy, so if there's something I coulda done, I wanted to help.

As long as acting had NOTHING to do with it.

yeah the space plumber

[and ... there they go again.]

so you pretty much wingmanned your way into painting a shakespeare set then
gotta say
thats pretty fuckin sweet of you dude

[that's completely sincere. hopefully this isn't one of those moments where it's hard to tell what Dave really means.]

Can't be like 100% certain here dude but I don't think he knows how to fix piping

Or shit, maybe he does, who am I to judge peoples' inner Marco

[Or, as known to Dave, Mario.

You know, like Marco Kart?]

Thanks! I'm learnin' how to be romantic, so it's an even trade kinda

Winking emote

inner marco
what

[give him like a minute for that to process. they've probably played Marco Kart together, and Dave probably complained about the name, too, honestly.]

wait
oh god fucking dammit

also
did you just winking emote at me
just makin sure

[Way to ecumenically insensitive to the multiverse, Dave!!!]

I dunno why you keep insistin' on it bein' Mario, dude, Marco's Party isn't the same without Marco and just sounds weird as Mario

Anyway, yeah

Winking emote (again)

[look, copyright laws aside, sometimes the multiverse is just plain wrong.]

what
no
marcos the one that sounds weird
thats not even a subjective thing its just fact
wait hang on
whats marcos bros name again

also you should winking emote at me one more time

[What are you doing oh god Nintendo PLEASE DON'T SUE US FOR THIS INFRINGEMENT.]

Huh? How do you not know that?

Ruigi

[...]

AND YES THERE'S A DIFFERENCE IN THE PRONUNCIATION DON'T START THAT SHIT WITH ME

Winking emote

[............]

how do you pronounce it then
i wanna hear you say it

[you never know ... Ryuji might get a winking emote in return for his effort.]

[Okay, fine- Ryuji wants to make his point so intently that he records his voice saying the two. One is Ree-you-ji, and one is Ruu-ee-ji, but honestly, the difference in vocal tones is pretty fucking bare minimal. He listens to it once, and then twice, and glares at his smartwatch. What crappy quality, that's CLEARLY THE PROBLEM HERE.

But either way, he hits send.]

See what I mean?

It's completely different.

COMPLETELY.

[Is... it though?]

[... right tap + saving that recording. for later. for non-nefarious reasons. that's probably a thing you can do with these smartwatches.]

uh
yeah i can hear it
sort of
theres a difference in like the first ghost of a syllable
anyway why dont you go with his name on my earth
start callin him luigi

[So the funny part about all of this is that... Ryuji wouldn't be able to tell the difference between Luigi and Ruigi in his native language either way. It's still the principle of the matter, thought... can he desecrate such a noble name? What's to come of the dearly be-hated Waruigi, then?

Also, what. Why are you saving that, Dave.]

I dunno man, why don't I just call the sky green or blood pink?

Because it is what it is and that shit is super important! What if there's nothing left to remember of my earth and it goes down in like history books or something as Luigi instead of Ruigi and then

Nah I honestly don't even care that much

Luigi it is

[Praise be to Nantendo.]

[so you’re saying, if they were having this conversation in Tokyo, none of it would be making any sense?]

[i mean. less sense.]

there you go
luigi and his bro with the kinda weird name marco
so whens the play happening

[About equal sense. 0 x 0 still equals zero.]

Hold on I got an advance copy of the playbill

[As he sends over a picture of him holding up the handwritten invitations that Alucard had made. Lapis Lazuli as "everyone else" still makes him laugh.]

Thou mayest be there or be square

[math ........]

[but give Dave a minute or two to completely, thankfully in private, lose it at the hamsters' names. he forgot how absolutely ridiculous they were.]

[not that he's got any room to be calling anything ridiculous? this is the same kid who collected weird dead shit, then not only thought to, but followed through on, combining one of them with a Mr. T plush.]

takin into account your sales pitch here
like id ever actually miss it

[it's a date, then.]

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