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[oculusriffs]

TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it


[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person.]

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gross

[ryuji]

[Some days you just kind of feel cursed, like the world is just out to get you, and there's nothing you can really do about it. Those sort of days, spending it alone and away from the hyper sensitive pings of the world around them seem kinda, well, right.

Akira was here, and so was Ann. There's a lot to process, and a lot he's not intentionally trying to keep from either of them, yet here he is, the morning after a really bad night, laying in bed and watching Dave sleep. Like a creeper. Ever since Lyrabar, he hasn't really had much in the way of a full night of sleep in a peaceful sort of way- not that it's incredibly easy to tell since Ryuji always complains about being tired, or bored, or needing something to do and being overbearing in his usual way. When he's in bed, down to a simple tank top and a wily pair of obnoxious boxers, and he's nestled warmly in Dave's arms, he still feels invincible; that much is true. It's where his head goes when he's sleeping that he doesn't trust.

Spend as long as you do among the dead and certain things end up, well, for lack of better words, haunting you. Like a joke you might've made when you were a kid coming back for the blood price of making it in the first place. The worst is seeing the astral plane become overrun with a black ichor, a substance that he can only sort of make out when he concentrates on it. And he figures he knows what this warding signal flare is. It's the Hunger. It has to be, right?

Ryuji Sakamoto never wanted to save the world. Too dramatic, after all, when he's had that moment of self-actualization in his life to realize fame and glory aren't things he really, truly, deeply cares about. At some point in his life, he would've shaken his fist at the astral plane and flipped it right off into the next demiplane of existence, but it's different. He's realizing, at 19, or 20, or whatever age he's supposed to be but lost track of, that there are some things out there that are actually fucking terrifying. And that's probably due to the fact that his now-light eyes are slowly wandering down the curves and soft skin that make up one Dave Strider.

Definitely, things to be afraid of out there that are worse than death. Like leaving someone behind to live with that realization. Or losing complete agency over everything. He doesn't know when Dave's going to wake up; hard to tell really when he has his own Death Price laid out in front of him like this. Sleep for as long as he wants, he's usually pretty dead to the world until his body tells him to wake up. At least, as much as Ryuji knows about this body. Constellations on his skin, the sweetest smile when he earns it, the way he knows how pleasure it, the whole nine yards.

And man, it's terrifying to be in love, ain't it?

He lays his head up against the back of his shoulder; he'll be there until he wakes up, still as always a giant mess of limbs and not a single apology left in either of them because of it.]

(☞ ᐛ )☞

[oculusriffs]

[it is most definitely a curse, health benefits aside. it means he always gets the perfect amount of sleep he needs, right when he needs it, regardless of what's actually going on. but it does mean that late-night conversations don't really happen like they used to. it also means that in the however many hours he spends off in not-so-dreamland at night, he's pretty out of tune on how much Ryuji's been struggling through them.]

[well, maybe not quite. one thing Dave said to Mista, once he had the radio in his hands and a clear head, was how mad he was at himself for not thinking straight back then. if he had, maybe he could have reduced Ryuji's visit to the astral plane to the usual day or two, rather than the like half a fucking month it wound up being. maybe he could have helped keep the suffering — all of it — to a minimum. you know, like paladins who are good at their jobs, especially when it comes to their boyfriends, are supposed to do.]

[but, time loops don't work like that, do they? Dave might never fully forgive himself for acting the way he was, by that definition, always meant to. the both of them try so damn hard to protect each other, and in that loop that first presented itself in the middle of the desert, it ... kind of completely backfired.]

[just as it was meant to.]

[there's probably a big fat pause button on all that at the moment, so they could rest for a little while. and it doesn't particularly matter who hit it first, but there's a nonzero chance he's going to want to address it once he gets a load of how rough of a night Ryuji just had. and as good as he is at squashing down bad vibes and his own rotten feelings, there's too much love there for him to not want to try his damndest to help him through this. he is, after all, more than willing to do anything for Ryuji.]

[for now, though, the x required hours of sleep are apparently nearly up. and he stirs, and untangles himself from the mess of limbs, half asleep fumbling around for his shades until he's somehow managed to half drape himself over Ryuji, squishing him.]

[sorry, bro, now you're really trapped. at least for a few more minutes.]

[ryuji]

[Two times in his life has he been faced with the universal truth of time, one that he was completely unable to resist or bend to a more favorable outcome. What happens is meant to happen and there's no way around that... even if, at the time, the inkling of its woven grasp tugs tightly like a pair of briefs crowding up and chafing uncomfortably. Ryuji had to die in order to be able to talk to himself back in the caves over there. And he's not completely okay with that either; it feels like everything about that exchange was superfluous and without an actual meaning. But that's how time works, isn't it? Nothing is ever revealed to itself to make much sense when someone's fucking around with the natural order of things.

Exclusively absent for the entire metaphysical argument that comes along with that sort of thing, Ryuji can only process what he's good at processing, which relegates him to pretty much the events of the morning. A crappy night of sleep, again, and a Dave in his arms. One kind of shitty thing that he can deal with, one amazing thing that he was deprived of for almost an entire month.

They haven't really talked about it, but in their usual way, they'll get to it. Both of them work on delayed timers of grief, sometimes lasting weeks and other times lasting years- like the things Ryuji still hasn't told the love of his life, a full year+ falling for him in the first place. He smiles to himself as Dave drapes himself unceremoniously all over his body, and who is he to stop the wheel of time now? Not that he could-- he's already got both arms around him and embracing the idea that one, or both of them, have some gnarly morning breath to get over.

God, still a full year+ of dating him and his heart rate still picks up every time he gets squished like this. Bear traps. Man, they're awful.]

Hey, s'a little early to be climbin' Mt. Fuji.

[Of course, jokes about his abs are integrated into a finely portioned breakfast of sass.]

But g'mornin', handsome.

[oculusriffs]

S'that what this is? [he asks as he sleepily pats at said abs, and whatever level of six-pack Ryuji is ... packing ... at the moment.]

[in any case, you give someone like Dave, who has always been desperately affectionate and clingy underneath the veneer of cool and unfortunate ideas about masculinity, total freedom, and you give him somewhere that he feels safe, then this is pretty much just where he ends up. draped over Ryuji, hanging on tight, perhaps as selfishly clingy as he gets, head tucked underneath Ryuji's chin while they wind their way through what's probably their normal waking up rhythm.]

[and maybe he's drawing out that morning routine a little bit. not out of laziness, or because he's comfortable — though, those are also definitely two things Dave also is at the moment. it's more something that goes unsaid, if he even acknowledges what he's doing at all.]

[he's just remembering what utter silence sounded like, and feeling a brief pang, a terrible fear of it. and he's grasping for anything he can find that reminds him that yes, the future they'd been worrying over came, and happened, and went, scorches and scars that it left behind and all. they'll hit play on that whenever they need to, because neither of them are quiet people; notes are heard and important thoughts are said and things play out as they always eventually do — but for now, a few minutes, a confirmation, is all Dave really needs. like hearing a heartbeat. or feeling him breathing, nestled up close to him like this. a reminder that Ryuji is alive. just a minute ... two minutes, and he's good.]

[that coolkid veneer of a few years ago would be giving Dave some mighty bullshit right now, with its dumb at worst, damaging at best parameters on strength and weakness, but he pretty much kicks that shit to the curb whenever he's around Ryuji. and thanks to that, every day that passes, the exterior he brought to their relationship dissolves a little more, and there's nothing but a very squishy Dave left underneath.]

[anyway, with all that said, and with all those worries he woke up with assuaged, he finally lifts himself up a little to look at Ryuji, mumbling a good morning of his own, thoughts wandering to apple juice or what they're gonna get up to today — unless the rough night Ryuji had is somewhere on his face, where Dave can see it. or oath it, as it were. he's going to point it out if it is.]