inbox for balance_rpg

[oculusriffs]

TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it


[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person.]

Comments

June 11 shall we say

[splinten]

[You know what just surfaced next to your ship, Dave? It's a goddamned submarine. Yeah, that's right. A literal fucking actual sub, built out of fantasy bullshit. And God help us all, but it has a SBAHJ decal on it.

Out from the top hatch, a familiar blond head pops up, shades glinting in the sunlight.]

Someone order some apple juice?

[oculusriffs]

[did Dirk order an entire crew of pirates!!! because that is, in fact, what's waiting for him — they're all standing there at the edge, weapons raised, ready to take on what appears to be a potential raider, when —]

[ — when they're ordered to chill out, and to fuck off for a few minutes. god, Dave does not make for a very good pirate captain at all, honestly. but there he is, in charge of a ship and a crew for some reason, if only because a man with an extremely powerful Grand Relic decided to take control of his soul, and put him there.]

What the. Where the fuck did you get that, dude?

[he probably means the sub. but maybe also the AJ.]

[splinten]

[Dirk is impassive in the face of pirates, either because he thinks he can take them (he can't but he possibly does) or because he expects Dave to show up. Or maybe he just doesn't fear death. That seems probable.]

I asked Bender. Can I come up?

[oculusriffs]

[there's a pause here, because they are currently operating under a strict code of "no unexpected visitors," and to defy that for too long lends itself to certain "possessed by a Grand Relic" risks.]

[.......]

[five minutes. he can do five minutes. silently, Dave steps back, allowing Dirk the room to board. his band of pirates (again, why is Dave in charge???) do the same.]

[splinten]

[Dirk gets himself up, bottles of AJ in hand. He holds them out to Dave, but as he does, he is looking Dave over for signs of wellness. Or not. He doesn't know Dave that well, but he also knows Dave better than almost anyone, and also he doesn't know Dave at all. It's the strangeness of Paradox Space.]

Just so I have a heads up, am I going to have to fight my way back off the ship?