inbox for balance_rpg

[oculusriffs]

TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it


[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person.]

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[oculusriffs]

[oh god that's so gross. but Dave just rubs at Ryuji's back, while his paladin magic status check alarm bells are going, "sick! sick! the dude on the other end of the oath connection is pretty damn ill!" while also ... sort of wondering what point they need to reach before they should seriously consider braving medbay.]

[because what is true love if not sitting right there while your boyfriend works his way through a really messy illness, snot and spit and microbes and all? ew. he's so attached, though, it doesn't really even occur to him to be all that grossed out — and also, it's not like Dave won't be doing the exact same thing the second he makes the mistake of breathing in.]

Wait, why are they fighting again? I forget that part of the story — or no, wait, maybe this is like. Some really festive version of robo-Celebrity Deathmatch.

[he doesn't seem to realize that he cut into English somewhere after "I forget." he leans back and grabs a nearby small bottle of apple juice, one of approximately fifty billion bottles that he has crammed in the room. because that's definitely a thing he did.]

[ryuji]

[Maybe they can convince the clerics to share a hospital bed or something. Cut down on expenses.

(It's probably less convincing and more like giving in, because let's face it, if they're going to be medbay bound, chances are one, or both of them, are going to take turns trying to visit the other, which is just about the opposite of what they're supposed to be doing while they recuperate.)

Or maybe Ryuji will stop being such a nitwit and go find out if Fantasy Costco sells Dayquail. The one with the cute animated bird on the logo that has a thermometer in its mouth? Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Dave will eventually pass out for the requisite 8-15 hours as he's destined to do, probably. Perfect time to crawl away and go do that.

Yeah, he's also been meaning to ask about the apple juice. Sure enough that stuff has to go bad at some point, right? And he can't, like... live off of a liquid diet forever. But then again, he's not sure he can really fault Dave for it. It's his favorite food in the entire world, and then there's still the conversation that they hit pause on back when they went to go find frozen burritos, fishnets, and kigus.

"My bro didn't really have a job. He did have a bunch of different websites that made some measure of money, but I can only throw out a guess at how much. Whatever it was, it was enough to pay for his shit."

His shit, right? Not Dave's, which probably means...

It's a little disconcerting to see him hoarding this much juice. Eh, something he'll mention later when they're not both metagorically dying to bacteria or whatever they're dealing with right now. He sidles right back up to Dave, leaning up against him, as he starts going on in English.

Ryuji's completely fucking lost.]

You lost me. But, uh, I think it had something to do with Santa being some evil snow giant that wanted to make kids miserable, so the Star King would come down and steal his big nutsack of toys and sleigh or some shit like that.

[That's... yeah, that's about as right as Ryuji is going to get with that story.]

[oculusriffs]

[he did, admittedly, go way overboard with the AJ hoarding. Dave would own up to it. there's no way he'll be able to finish all of it before it goes bad, particularly if it's also a magical meal replacement, and maybe at some point hitting the button and getting endless apple juice started to turn into more of him cracking a joke than him being so desperately glad to finally have the real thing to stuff in his closet.]

[and, well ... yeah, it calls to a history he's still trying to figure out how to talk about, and that whole thing is pretty sad, isn't it. kind of like how he swirls the bottle in his hands, not really having the appetite to drink any.]

[also, Ryuji should say Dayquail out loud.]

[language comprehension tunes back in right at "nutsack of toys," and Dave can't help himself, he starts laughing straight into a coughing fit, and, not having time to turn away or grab a tissue, he just. lifts the front of his koi kigu to cover it. they are probably going to have the burn these pajamas when they're done with them.]

[once he's steady again, though:]

Sounds legit to me. Needs more cake, though.

[............]

[ah.]

[ryuji]

[On the other hand, if AJ is all he needed to start kicking off the mad gainz he was destined to start growing, then Ryuji might have to just haul off and destroy Bender. There are some things in the world that Ryuji will have trouble accepting, and being the little big spoon is one of them.

Jokes aside, though, it's something he'll remember to bring up with Dave. He needs to eat protein, and carbs, and fats. Ryuji doesn't have the best appetite in the world, and he leans way too much on junk food as it is, but he really, truly cares about his body and wants to take care of it as much as he can. He's well read when it comes to those workout magazines from back home, a few... er, thousands of years? removed from the research that went into their publications. Even if it's easier to read and preach than to actually comply with. And the station's food was all protein goo to begin with.

Which is all kinds of silly, now, considering Dave is practically that guy in the sports stadium with a tray of snacks on demand. He's been feeding Ryuji constantly over the past few months. His muscles are growing nicely in because of it, and as he continues to consume more calories to bulk up, he eats more. Time to pay that forward, he guesses.

But Dave starts to cough and Ryuji looks over at the pitiful scene. One good turn deserves another, huh? Oh god, not right into the Kigu.

Actually, yeah. Use that thing as a snot rag. All the more reason to ditch it down the space toilet. Regardless, Ryuji's already reflexively trying to soothe him down a little bit, touching him along the shoulder to guide him back into place against him when he's done. God, he can't bear to see Dave sick like this too. Himself? Whatever, he'll get over it. But he hates the idea of him being down for the count like this. They'll just have to take care of each other.]

You know what? You're right, dude. And fried chicken.

[Which pings something inside of him.]

... Hey, you know I brought a shadow vulture egg back, right? You think that thing can hatch?

[THIS IS A HORRIBLE FUCKING IDEA RYUJI.]

[oculusriffs]

[he'll probably be pretty touched by the gesture, Ryuji gently trying to look out for his well-being like that - even if it results in Dave finally surpassing Ryuji in height in one very late, very last growth spurt. sorry, little big spoon!]

[it's sort of funny how easily and rapidly they're swapping roles here, between cared and cared for, and he slides back into his spot up against Ryuji, chest rattly and raw and uncomfortable, but at the end of the day he's running on a solid net comfortable. if anything, Dave's pretty into their current activity, and he's thinking maybe they should do it more often when they both aren't nasty mucus fountains.]

[speaking of current activity, doesn't he actually have some snacks lying around, or is it really just miles of AJ in here? he wants to go check. is Ryuji even hungry right now? everything is kind of fuzzy with congestion and it's difficult to tell much of anything, aside from those aforementioned negative status effect alarms.]

[yeah ... yeah he should go see if he can find something just in case. but there's that net comfort kicking in again, and instead of going searching for chips or whatever else he might have lying around, he sinks a little, winding his arm around Ryuji in an attempt to make sure he's at that same level of comfy.]

[and, uh. wait, what.]

Maybe? Have you been sitting on it. [THAT IS ALSO A TERRIBLE IDEA DAVE.]

Or maybe just keeping it warm would work.