oculusriffs | inbox for balance

[it does seem like it was very simple to admit to something so significant. like a giant leap to the tallest peak made easy because they were both there to act as springboards for each other — and made easy because, maybe the amount of love that's there was something that had been kind of obvious all along. or built up to pretty obvious levels, anyway.]

[Dave has to bite back the guilt that tries to rise up again, over the way he'd scared Ryuji like he did, because they're on the cusp of figuring something out here, and trying to trot out an emotion that's still clawing at him and spurred their argument in the first place doesn't ... it doesn't seem like it has a place in the conversation right now. it's still there. he'll try not to ignore it forever.]

You're not gonna lose me. Promise. [he leans forward, gripping Ryuji's hand, lightly pressing their foreheads together as if that'll amplify a simple fact he's spoken. transfer his thoughts through contact.]

[and it is true — if anything, this whole shitty situation has proven that, in a way. death, as strange as this sentence sounds, no longer seems like a way for them to lose each other. the same was true back on the space station, but now that one of them's gone and proven it, it seems ... more tangible. not that it provides much comfort.]

Like you said, right? There's always gonna be a spot for you here to make your way back to, and, I mean. If we're gonna be glass orb lobbed into dangerous quests for the forseeable future, then we'll figure out a better way to work through 'em. Together. [he adds another box to their checklist of things they're trying to help each other through.]

[so, Ryuji won't ever lose him. might lose track of him, but Dave doesn't really know how to fix that, and —]

[wait, no. yes he does. he stops suddenly, having quite literally been pinged.]

[It looks like his quest for revenge ends pretty much here. If he backpedals through those thoughts and Dave's plea, he can see where it came from, and it's. Well, Ryuji would still like to kick some ass for hurting his person, but at the same time, everything does come at a price. Or a balancing lever of sorts. Set what's right in the universe and scare Dave. Or let it go and end the panic cycle of two idiots who have a lot of heart over each other and nowhere near enough care about themselves. What's actually more important to him throughout all this should be pretty obvious.

Ryuji settles, and Dave's trying to telepathically share something that a way too thick skull is blocking out. But ever greedy for contact, he closes his eyes and takes that in, too. Telepathic calming through thought osmosis. Thoughtmosis, sure. And it's been said before, but Ryuji's never been one not to trust a promise that Dave makes. The honesty is just so important to him, which is why he couldn't promise Dave to begin with that he wouldn't go off and do something stupid. He wouldn't ever put himself in a position to take back his words, because he means them all when he says them- even the goofy, stupid, jaw-droppingly ridiculous type, too.]

Cool, 'cause I like bein' at your side. S'the best part of my day, anyway.

[The longer he stays like this, though, the more he realizes that he's cracked out on approximately 0 hours of sleep, and as much of a throwback to Sweet Dreams Are Made of Bees, it does feel different enough to make a difference. Had it really been as long as it had? Stumbling through his feelings, leading up to a moment where he could tell him that he loves him, just like this?

Wait, Dave, what are you thinking? It went quiet.]

Huh? You okay?

Yeah, I'm cool.

[he really should be nudging Ryuji down to get some sleep, the same way he did six days into a thousand replays of Barbee Girl, but. he feels like he's not going to be able to sleep at all if he doesn't throw this idea he's building out there.]

[Dave's kind of wearing the wrong pajamas for this — a red pair that also comes with a cape seems like it'd be more appropriate when using your RPG powers to swear allegiance to someone, doesn't it? but he lets go of Ryuji's hand, slides off the bed, turns around to face him, and then just.]

[has a seat on both knees, brows furrowed in intense concentration, clearly thinking over something very important.]

[the fuck are you doing, Dave.]

[Holy shit, has reviving him made him lose his marbles? What the fuck are you doing, Dave?

Ryuji just cocks an eyebrow upward at this display.]

Dude, what're you doin', it's cold on the floor.

[This isn't really the time to start taking up meditative mantras or anything, considering Ryuji was pretty intent on dragging him straight downward and cuddling the ever loving shit out of him until he needed a second application of revivify. He leans over, yanking at his arm a little bit.]

[bold of you to assume he had any marbles to begin with.]

[Dave resists the yanking!! it's true that it's cold on the floor and that he is cold, but whatever he's doing is apparently important enough that he's willing to put off warming up for a little bit longer.]

Wait — hang on, I just got an idea.

[this still doesn't make any sense, Dave.]

Like, an RPG mana skill thing idea. [see previous sentence.]

[This is ridiculous, and like all ridiculous things, they can only go so far before accepting that the only way down is more dumb shit. And yeah, it doesn't really make any sense, but if Dave is going to be hell bent on being on the floor right now, and he's not going to respond to nudging him back to bed, then Ryuji will try to compensate a little bit.

Which is especially funny considering what Dave's about to do, but he pulls up the blanket from under him, wedges his ass out from under it, and sighs.]

You're seriously gonna give me an ulcer.

[And then casually drapes the blanket over the back of his shoulders.

Hey, knight. Here's your cape.]

Edited 2018-12-23 01:32 (UTC)

Pretty sure the medbay's got Tums, dude.

[Dave, that's not ... he pauses, though, drawing the blanket cape over his shoulders a little, brows still furrowed in thought.]

You know ... the GameFAQs shit about paladins, right? They deal in oaths. I think most of them make their oaths to gods or whatever, but I've already said how I think religion's pretty bullshit, so.

For me ... my oaths are more about the promises I make to people — especially the promises I make to you. And, assuming I do this right, I can promise you that we'll never have to worry about fighting alone. Without each other. If you're cool with it, it'd be kinda like synchronizing our watches, or installing a spirit GPS laser beam or something.

[Dave chews on his bottom lip. this is a pretty hefty idea to be tossing at Ryuji, when they're both probably exhausted and emotionally spent, but he's already gone and said all this, so.]

It's no big if you're not into the idea, though — I mean, I know what I need to do, and I know what the end result's gonna be, but I have no idea what the actual experience of an RPG magic oath is gonna be like.

That's not what I meant!

[Video games... video games... he doesn't have a working model for this to base anything off of, so he's pretty clueless on what's supposed to be right or supposed to be wrong about oaths or anything like that. From Kingdom Albian Fighters IV, though, there was a main character who gained strength by giving something up in swearing himself to the summoner leading lady. But this isn't an RPG, this is real life, and seeing Dave on the floor talking about this sort of thing is a lot bigger than picking up a controller and putting it down when the dinner bell rang.

Ryuji thinks back to the whole deal with the devil thing, too. He would've done it, if it meant giving him an extra padded layer to protect Dave, and eventually settled on believing that things were fine as the way they were and left that hostess with the mostess on read. But this... also isn't that, not by a long shot. This is someone he knows, someone he loves, offering yet another promise to him. Dave's never not come through on his promises.

But this is also Mr. Sakamoto, so excuse him for a moment.]

... this feels like you're proposin' to me.

[God fucking damnit.]

[Ryuji, at least, can always be counted on for his out of left sports field and frank commentary.]

....... What.

[hang on, let him pause and recalibrate the mental circuitry. now that Ryuji's gone and pointed it out, it kind of does and. oh god. that wasn't really how Dave was interpreting it at all. it's not the first time he's taken an inkling of an idea and just ran with it.]

I mean — [???????????]

Does it? [maybe you should have thought this through a bit more before just dropping to the floor and offering, Dave! now he's sitting trying to decide how awkward he should feel.]

[God, he's so exhausted by everything right now, but he has enough energy in him to lean forward, elbows propping his head up from his knees, and make just enough closure of room to be all up in his business, smiling in that haphazard way he always does that comes off a little too cocky even when he doesn't mean to. Except, maybe, at least it's a little bit cocky. He did just fluster Dave into near non-oblivion.]

I mean, kinda.

[If anything, brutal honesty has always been the best policy for him. This was such a tender and beautiful moment, too.]

So, this oath thingy. How do we kick it off?

[Besides trying to be a coy little shit, he leaves the observation open to whatever interpretation they want to give it. Bullshit magic promises, or just plain old promises, Ryuji's good out here. Look, if he's offering a way to know what's going on with each other at any given moment, as a means to figuring out what they're supposed to do when they're both out in the open in this paramilitary crap they have going on, then yeah. Give him unlimited danger sense range since there's only one person he wants to be able to use it for anyway.

Wait, was he supposed to say "I do" or something?]

[it's month-late karma for being so smug over getting Ryuji to promise to own the entire Moon Base stock of kigurumis is what it is! which is a thing that's still happening no matter what, so Dave will just have to continue reaping the cosmic consequences for it.]

By making an oath thingy. Here, gimme. [he holds his hand out expectantly — you synchronize your chakras by holding hands, apparently. this isn't exactly going as it would in the storybooks, but since when have either of them played by the rules? it's still a majyyks-tinged promise all the same.]

All you've gotta do is, like. Just know that you're the person I'll do literally anything for. I'm pretty sure I've said something like that to you once before, so maybe you already do? So just remember it.

Sound good?

[Dave can't just hold out his hand and expect Ryuji not to take it. Doesn't work like that! Not at all. Straightening up and gaining a little aplomb, he stops leaning on his knees so lazily, and takes Dave's into his own.

Except, you'd think this was supposed to be some sort of monk chakra ceremony or something. He has a bit of a different idea, here, where Ryuji slides his hand backwards a bit and curls, bringing his hand hold into more of a locked-in-war position. Yeah, he's bringing this back to square one, since it seems kind of right.]

Aight. Prove it. [He doesn't need to prove it, Ryuji already knows all of this, and Dave has repeatedly shown that he'd do anything for him. A thumb sticks outward in the air defiantly, and Dave can probably notice the extreme amount of affection and tired happiness in the way he looks at him. Maybe that's his answer to the "sound good" part, but.

You know.

He's a bit of a walking shitpost.]

Lay down your thumb and I'll know. For now and for, like, ever.

[this is ... outrageously stupid. but if Ryuji's going to call back to something outrageously stupid that they did the very first time they ever met, then that's all the hint Dave needs to know that he understands him here.]

[because even the most sentimental and important moments they have are wrapped in a mantle of stupidity.]

You're saying you want me to kick your ass again? All right. [Dave's grip on Ryuji's hand tightens, and for a moment, it may seem as if time is slowing to a complete stop. like the universe is hitting the pause button so it can catch the outcome of a decisive rematch. the battle one for the whole burrito.]

[or maybe that's just one of the mild effects of forming a magical pact with a time player, someone who can't draw on the powers granted to a destiny he doesn't have anymore, but who's built up on pillars of seconds, minutes and metaphors all the same. if timelines were an observable body, if they aren't like the lines of lightning bolts, they'd also be pretty similar to asteroids, too: these monstrous things blazing forward on their own trajectory, scarred and reshaped by the space junk experiences that they collide with, but very scarcely ever meant to cross paths.]

[right up until they do. and if Ryuji closes his eyes for a second during their rematch, he might see timelines themselves in the abstract way Dave does: lines parallel to each other, like the lightning or the comets, or even the staff of sheet music, notations and pitches of every event that shaped it, stretching out forever into oblivion. he might catch sight of one in particular as it splinters and fires off in an entirely opposite direction, traveling at mach speed toward another staff. a new set of timelines. a convergence of universes that defied their own rules, and, if it weren't for a horror station light years away, probably never would have met to begin with.]

[he might see bits of a timeline that had only been described in passing, or bits that had gone unsaid, if only because they hadn't gotten to it yet. an apartment in Houston. a planet of lava. a planet full of melted snow and frogs. a laboratory on a meteor.]

[and if Dave closes his eyes, he might see something similar from the other direction — they are seeing the moment where two timelines two different people lived very different lives on meeting, after all. and this is a sort of pact that goes beyond words.]

[but nearly as soon as the metaphor starts and time stops, it's over, and two kids having a thumb war rematch out in space synchronize, and the seconds start ticking by as loudly as a grandfather clock's pendulum might measure them. gears that had been spinning above them, indicating the oath being made there, fade into thin air.]

[and Dave, once everything is said and done, and once the perception of time passing normally has returned, has Ryuji's thumb pressed down with both his pointer finger and his thumb.]

[because of course he was gonna cheat again.]

[In what world did Ryuji even say that he wanted Dave to kick his ass all over again? He's expecting him to just give in and let him win, but then again, he should know better than to think that was going to happen in any and all universes. Which, as time starts to come to a near halt, there's a precipice point of veering out into a whole menagerie of them, all at once. It's like this brain sped up and all the synapses of nerves and connections inside just come alive all at once, just through the extension of a pair of conjoined hands. Only having been told about it before, related through his stories, Ryuji's experience of it- and only for a fraction of time that's small but divisible infinitely- comes alive in through the path of devotion that Dave sets forth between them.

It's not catching lightning in a bottle, but rather taming it, as the data structure of time and space come alive for a bright moment, and when you look at it from this angle, sure does feel like those two things are very near the same thing. Sort of. He can't possibly understand a lick of physics, but it's instincts. Probably similar to the way Dave's said that he knows when things can strayed off the path, and again, just an instant, but it's pretty much the most beautiful and complex thing he's ever felt to date.

And then, as if everything starts to pull itself together, their timelines are syncing up, and it's pretty wild to see this all as a chaotic band of asteroids shooting out in different directions or feel the convergence as the oath settles in on the both of them. What's to say that these really are something as nebulous as hunks of rock floating out in the great void and not just some sort of molecule bonding at the extreme other end- not that it matters either way, because in the blink of an eye, that infinity is just gone, and it's the two of them. No Houston, lava planets, or anything like that any longer, an entire panel of things Ryuji hasn't experienced but somehow just did, and he's looking down at his thumb pinned in place.

You know, he can't even be mad about that. That was some supremely wicked magic bullshit that just went down, and he's left wide eyed and humbled by how infinitely smaller he felt in a continuum of multiple branching paths that could've held a million different outcomes than the one leading up to this moment, here with Dave. But even then, he still thinks this is the right one.]

... I... uh.

[Because what else do you say after that happens?]

Yo, I think my brain just kinda had an orgasm or something because that was trippy as shit. [Yeah, sounds about right for someone who just experienced a small part of a time player's inner cogs.]

So I guess... it worked? You feel any different?

[to be fair to Ryuji, even though that's how he sees timelines, watching two splinters converge into their own thing is an entirely new trippy as shit experience for Dave, too. splintered timelines are supposed to be doomed. their very existence implies that something went wrong enough that they can't continue. but, fuck the rules — that's pretty much their mantra, and the crux of the vision they'd just shared via paladin magic.]

[Dave turns Ryuji's hand over, to look at the inside of his wrist. it's small, but there is proof there that a paladin's oath was made: it's a small red gear. there's one on Dave's wrist, too.]

Looks like it worked. I can kinda tell how badly you need a nap, too. [it's not an injury, but the sense is there. not that one really needed magical insight to see how tired Ryuji is.]

[and, Dave is, too, honestly. throwing a lot of Faerun: The RPG mana at a spell when you're still trying to warm up is probably pretty exhausting.]

It'll probably be easier to see how it works once we get back down there.

Oh, sweet. We got inked up. Yo, if we touch 'em you think that we get new outfits and super powers or something?

[Jokes aside, he thinks it's pretty cool looking. What a crazy night it's been- from realizing that Dave died, to getting ready to go to war over him, a mutual admittance to being in love with each others, magic paladins of time shenanigans, and now, matching tattoos. They don't do anything on the down low, do they?

He'll have to learn how to read the signs, too, put feelers out there to understand Dave's state of being, but that's... probably best served for another time and place, like he said.]

You... can tell if I'm tired? Dude, apologies in advance for how hungry you're gonna feel all the time.

[It's a fair warning, his appetite is a constant nuclear reactor needing shoveling into at frequent intervals. One day that metabolism is going to slow down, but until then, it's junk food and mini meals all day every day. Ryuji pulls a bit backward, nothing of a jerk, but a nudge, and indicates that he should come join him in bed. He has no idea how dead to the world Dave is going to be when he sleeps, but that'll become pretty apparent in the morning.

If he can guide Dave up back to his side and not in the supplicant's position he's in, he'll try to cover up the feeling of an oncoming yawn. There's barbarian armor to shed, especially if he's going to be living it in the luxury of his own bed tonight, and he figures... aw, well, what the hell.]

Want me to wear it tonight? Probably it'd help keep you like, extra warm... or something.

[One time offer, Dave. He's ready to let his inner shark roam free in the waters of his sheets.]

[there is a lot happening here that could use some addressing. one of them is the fact that Dave, if secondhand hunger is a thing that he'll be able to sense, will just have to make sure there are always snacks on hand no matter where they are. like popcorn. popcorn that can't escape via Jedi mind tricks. perfectly normal caramel popcorn, even.]

[or, the fact that he's being gently tugged up somewhere warmer, to which he obliges, sitting down on the edge of the bed, finally ready to try to catch some measure of snoozes now that they've worked through something rather important — he doesn't really know it either, but he's going to completely zonk the split second he's in a horizontal position, and he's not actually going to realize what happened until the morning. but, he's fine. it'll be his new normal. this two-way connection thing they've got going now will be indicative enough of that.]

[for a split second there, he even entertains what the heck sort of super power uniforms they'd be stuck with if that scenario were actually plausible. more capes, probably. it's always capes.]

[but, of course, all those extremely important thoughts are pretty much shoved right to the side when Ryuji makes an offer that Dave is literally incapable of refusing.]

Hell yeah I do. [he doesn't even try to be coy about it, god dammit.]

[He figures that his moral stance on the matter could be abated for... a moment, considering Dave's been through enough today, and they exchange locales for a few moments; as he's plopped up on the bed, Ryuji leaves it behind. He's too tired to care much about being all prim and proper about the order of event that are about to happen as he yanks upward to take the top part of his leather armor off, unbuckles the arm guards, and heads over to the closet to pull out the cursed pajamas.

Holding it in his hand, he sighs. Cute shit is never something that sits comfortable with him, but as he wiggles down into his smallclothes, one step, and then a second- arm, another arm, and a zip upwards. It's done. Even pulls the hood up over his head, and starts pooling together the pieces of his armor that he's left behind into a neat sort of fashion on top of his dresser.

If Dave's not already dead to the world by now, he comes back to the edge of his bed and shows himself off for a moment. Maybe if he had more energy in him, he'd hum the Maws theme song, an iconic ballad of his shark people, but that's not going to fly right now as he joins him.

He's got big plans to hold Dave all evening long, and it'll be a straight up race to see who actually ends up sleeping more out of the both of them. But one, honest to god statement (awake or not, again) before he can claim the sheets over the both of them.]

We gotta get better at fighting... and you need an actual weapon... if we're gonna end up having to defend ourselves, y'know? I don't... really I don't wanna hurt anyone, it ain't my style... but that doesn't mean someone or something out there ain't gonna try to hurt us.

[this has been a hell of an emotional rollercoaster of 24 hours, but at least Dave gets to end it smiling, too tired to really mask how big of a kick he gets out of the shark pajamas. it's a big smile — because it's a big kick. he even reaches over to tug lightly on the shark hood.]

[and that's not ignoring the gravitas of what Ryuji's just said, either.]

I know.

[there's a lot more he wants to say on it honestly. like he knows now, more than ever, that he's going to have to fight, if they're going to make it through to the end. that he has to learn not to be afraid of fucking up — that there's a good chance that the next mission they go on, the roles they're in right now, curling up together, could very well be reversed.]

[lots of things to say, but he doesn't get the chance, because once he's lying down, an arm draped around Ryuji, he's just. out completely. cheek squished. shades askew.]

[moron.]

[Not much else in the happs right about now, but it should be noted that Ryuji winds up falling asleep a little bit longer than he ought to. Even makes sure that Dave's shades are off his face so he doesn't roll over them in his sleep. It's like that moment of being too cracked out tired to actually fall into dead slumber right away, but for a while, he'll just idly stare up at the ceiling and rub whatever part of Dave's back he can reach. Yeah, he's going to do his damnedest to make sure this right here doesn't have to happen again. And then, like taking a deep inhale of breath before jumping into water, Ryuji's out like a lamp, too.]

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