ic contact for reverienet

[oculusriffs]

TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it


[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person. it's a hunk of junk space house. in space. he's around here somewhere.]

Comments

[splinten]

[Dave stops! Dirk, confused, glances at him.]

What's up?

[oculusriffs]

What is that? On your shoulder.

[splinten]

[Dirk glances at his shoulder to see what Dave means. Then he realizes.

Oh.]

It's, uh. A tattoo.

1/youre just gonna get a whole slew of reactions

[oculusriffs]

[... Dave just abandons his half-eaten piece of toast on the probably unsanitary space station floor, along with his earlier thought about sharing some Twizzlers, and walks over to Dirk so he can get a better look at what he thinks might actually be —]

[oculusriffs]

[— yup. holy shit, yup, that is Hella Jeff's hella face permanently hella inked right there on Dirk's arm.]

[oculusriffs]

[and what is that???]

[oculusriffs]

[there seems to be something actually radiating off of Dirk's tattoo. it's not a part of his arm. it's something ... something deep fried. something suspiciously artifact-y. Dave, without thinking on it first, sort of waves a hand above Dirk's arm, as if he could physically disperse the shitty jpg. no, that's. that's actually there? somehow???]

[??????]

[the man literally turned his arm into a permanent shitty MSPaint file for what he assumes was the sake of accuracy.]

[oculusriffs]

[Dave has never seen such distilled eau de SBaHJ that didn't come from his own brain in his entire life. it's like every dumb joke he thought up and drew out in five minutes has been condensed and depicted as a really shitty tattoo on his au brother's arm. because that's literally what it is, what i just got done describing there.]

[it is the most stupid and also beautifully ironic thing he's ever seen.]

[he has so many questions. most of them include the word "what."]

Holy shit, dude, how did you — what —

[oculusriffs]

[but Dave can't actually get any of his questions out, because he's clapping a hand over his mouth instead to hide what was probably the uncoolest laughsnort of a noise he's ever made.]

[and then he just keeps laughing, muffled.]

[splinten]

[Is that a good reaction? Is that a bad reaction? He thinks it's a good reaction. He thinks, probably, it would be his reaction in a reversed situation.

A small smile cracks his expression.]

Thanks, I did it myself.

[oculusriffs]

[something about the way Dirk said that just makes him laugh even harder, doubled over, to the point where, when he's finally composed himself, he has to reach behind the shades with his hands to swipe at his eyes.]

It looks like you went over it with the flipside of Unreal Air. [he doesn't think Dirk would even get that reference, but it's the closest real life approximation he can think of on the fly. get it, because it flew away.]

How the hell did you even do that?

[splinten]

That's that unbelievably shitty skateboard, right? I fuckin' love that thing.

[Absolutely reference gotten. Dave is opening himself to a whole world of nerdy reference-getting here.]

You—the you in my universe—developed technology to make some shitty jpeg artefacts. I took that tech and applied it to my tattoo needle when making this. It was pretty easy once I figured out how to combine the two things, and let's be honest: combining random things that shouldn't be combined is the basic premise of our universe's technological advances.

[oculusriffs]

Wait, I — he, I mean — he did what? Seriously?

[it isn't incredulous or anything — and while he still sounds fairly amused, it's easily overshadowed by a tentative, but still very genuine, curiosity. Dave would really like to hear about his alternate self. he also knows that the natural course that conversation would take would likely lead to his own Bro.]

[and that invites a new fear, alongside the usual ones he has when he thinks about it. Dave is afraid that broaching the topic would mess up how well the two of them have been getting along. but his question is already out there; all he can do is roll with it, and panic appropriately if it comes up.]

[splinten]

Yeah.

[He looks at Dave, cautiously. Slowly, he asks,]

I can tell you about it, if you want.

[oculusriffs]

[he pauses, and it's probably pretty obvious that the gears are turning frantically. he is on the cusp of agreeing, and maybe there is even a thing or two he'd be willing to say about his Bro. maybe. the chatbots seem harmless enough. maybe the rocketboard? he doesn't know. maybe he could talk about all the mixing gear that littered the apartment.]

You sure I'm not interrupting?

[Dave can't stop himself from trying to dance around it anyway. but it isn't an outright rejection like it was earlier, either, so it's something.]

[splinten]

[He wonders if maybe he should say Dave is and give him that out. But then maybe Dave doesn't want the out?

Reading minds is hard.]

Yeah, it's no big deal. It's kind of nice to have someone to talk to while I work.

[oculusriffs]

... Okay.

[he settles himself down, then, fixing his gaze on the scraps of replicator on the floor, hoping he's hiding his tension. Dave's also desperately hoping he isn't making a mistake by agreeing.]

[splinten]

[It isn't greatly hidden, but Dirk just kind of talks idly. It's easy to talk about his Bro, but kind of nervewracking when he's near Dave. Still, he tries, working at the parts.]

Specifically talking about the shitty skateboard, my bro had a lot of junk like that that manufactured over the years. He patented the technology for producing three dimensional jpeg artefacts, to make products shittier than was ever previously imaginable. He made a killing off them.

Not because anyone bought this garbage, obviously. But because they were so cheap to manufacture, their cost was actually negative, therefore miraculously netting him profit for every unit produced. He made so much money this way, he had enough to finance manned space missions to haul all of the hideous unwanted jpeg shit off the Earth, and launch it into the sun. But years thereafter, every now and then someone would report a stray shitty skateboard slowly drifting back into Earth's atmosphere.

People would pray they would burn up on reentry.

But they never did.

[oculusriffs]

[that ... that is so completely outrageous, Dave can't help but lower his head in laughter again. it's one of the stupidest things he's ever heard, and on a scale he can't even fathom, and yet ... somehow, it's not at all off brand? it's enough so that he relaxes just a little, and is able to offer a little bit of commentary, instead of just listening.]

Man, I ran into the same damn thing in our session. I made a camera that gave me like a thousand grist instead of costing anything.

[splinten]

[Something tight releases in Dirk. He can breathe.]

Dude, I'd love to see that. That'd be hilarious.

[oculusriffs]

Well...

[he was going to say, "maybe if we can escape off this station," but then he remembered what sort of state they'd left their session in. the only shot he has at fulfilling that request, he thinks, is if they are lucky enough to cross paths in the dream bubbles. his, maybe? he's not sure what happened to Dirk, and he doesn't really want to ask, either.]

Maybe I'll be able to figure out how to make another one. Weirder things have happened — like shitty skateboards floating down from space.

[splinten]

That'd be really cool. [He notices the reservations that Dave is showing. He doesn't want to push into it too much, so he just watches him out of the corner of his eyes as he works.]

[oculusriffs]

I'll have to see what I can cook up, then.

[and he falls into a silence there for a little while, watching Dirk work, weighing his curiosity against what he'd been thinking was his better judgment.]

[it's curiosity that winds up winning.]

What other stuff did he do?

[splinten]

[He glances over at Dave.]

I could tell you about his movies, if you wanted. The Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff franchise.

[oculusriffs]

... His movies.

[that would be a yes, there, Dirk.]