[it's taking a lot out of him to not immediately revert to his cagey asshole 13-year-old self who's still highly tempted to play it off with a joke, to refuse to, under any circumstances, have a seat and hash out an actual feelings jam. but that's not the kind of person Ryuji has been helping him become, nudging him a little further toward sincerity, chipping away at his reinforced armor, on a daily basis.]
[there's a minute or two where he internally panics in that spot in between knowing he has to be honest and being terrified of just tossing what he sees as an immense failure on his part out in the open. letting Ryuji in on the secret, too, like he hadn't already stolen a pair of glitchy shades off of Dave's repressed sense of failure given a shadow form, and chose to stick by him anyway. Dave does know this. anxiety in this current moment is getting the better of him.]
still trying to figure that out
[and he ultimately kicks a conversation that probably shouldn't happen over text anyway a few yards down the road. it's not really a lie. it's not playing it off. it's, "let me get my bearings. let me try to not fuck this up and let you down again."]
dont go anywhere ok im heading back
god fucking dammit theyre not letting me leave yet i guess do you want snacks or something
no subject
[there's a minute or two where he internally panics in that spot in between knowing he has to be honest and being terrified of just tossing what he sees as an immense failure on his part out in the open. letting Ryuji in on the secret, too, like he hadn't already stolen a pair of glitchy shades off of Dave's repressed sense of failure given a shadow form, and chose to stick by him anyway. Dave does know this. anxiety in this current moment is getting the better of him.]
still trying to figure that out
[and he ultimately kicks a conversation that probably shouldn't happen over text anyway a few yards down the road. it's not really a lie. it's not playing it off. it's, "let me get my bearings. let me try to not fuck this up and let you down again."]
dont go anywhere ok
im heading back
god fucking dammit
theyre not letting me leave yet
i guess
do you want snacks or something