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game: reverie

ic contact for reverienet

TG: this is going to be fucking stupid isnt it

[want to get in touch with Dave? you can leave a TEXT, VOICE, or VIDEO message — or alternatively, he shouldn't be too hard to track down in person. it's a hunk of junk space house. in space. he's around here somewhere.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[oh .... fucking hell. this isn't really an the opener he was expecting, or at all wanting.]

[Dave's reply is pretty much immediate:]

oh
shit ryuji
do you want to come over

[and so is his extending the invitation. he figures Ryuji's got his reasons for texting instead of just showing up at his door, but ... it feels right to offer.]

[It feels weird, like he's walked into a space that only one person has ever inhabited- as if Ryuji had put all his stuff or managed everything he owned on the station in a really weird feng shui pattern that wrapped around something completely invisible. It's what he's been staring at for a solid 10 minutes, examining things like toothbrushes as if none of this was for real.]

Yeah actually

I thought maybe it'd be a better thing to be alone for a bit

But on second thought

I think I'd rather be with you

alright dude
whenever youre ready

[he'll follow Ryuji's lead here, whether he needs a distraction or if he needs to sit down and really talk it out. if it's a distraction Ryuji wants, then there are a few in Dave's room that are in plain sight, once he gets there. the first is that pair of stupidly artifact-y sunglasses, which are sitting there on the desk being stupid and artifact-y. the second is a stack of sticky notes that Dave appears to have been writing on. the third is a Starsky and Hutch movie poster that's on the wall above his bed.]

[it isn't much, but you work with what the space station's kind enough to bestow upon you. and just talking is fine with him, too. he likes to think he'd be ready for whatever.]

[For Ryuji at least, it's kind of hard for him to even know what he wants at the moment. Distractions, conversations, Dave being a cheerleader- or a cowboy, that's kind of hot too; it's a pretty big thing to process. And it's not like he wants to cry or anything like that, or be over-emotional at the entire thing, it just seems to have come and went abruptly, and he's trying to figure out what it is that he should be working through right now.

Like, god, what does he even say? "He's in a better place right now-" like he had passed or something like that. It creeps him out to be in that mindset, so he lets go of it on his way over. He was right about one thing though- he does feel lighter when the door's opened and he sees Dave, and immediately recognizes that being alone through whatever he was supposed to be processing was a dumb idea.

Oh, shit, he was here- what was he supposed to say? He stands there for a second, eyes narrowing as he opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it.]

Man, I know it's like, super late past curfew, hopefully I don't get detention tomorrow for sneakin' out after hours.

[Ryuji ........ what. Dave’s just gonna go ahead and. roll with it. that was, after all, his plan to begin with.]

I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna snitch. You’re free to roam the halls and not do your space homework all you want.

Oh, dude, you're a dude.

[The Dalai Lama could learn a thing or two from Ryuji, whose state of zen is unparalleled within a completely empty and clear mind.

And so, he unceremoniously just plops his ass on Dave's bed, shoulders and head up against the wall behind it. He's also mastered the slouch.]

I think there's an actual teacher here, by the way. Kinda gives you the opportunity to say "ghosts ate my homework," and, like, it could be a totally valid thing.

[Looking over at the poster of Starsky and Hutch-]

Nice.

Thanks.

[it’s true, he is a dude. and that is a nice poster. Dave sits himself down on the bed, too - he’s not quite as naturally slouchy as Ryuji, that’s a talent he still needs some time to work on. but he watches him for a minute, trying to glean any information from that serious state of zen Ryuji’s kind of settled himself into. is he really all right? should Dave try asking? the worry is there, even if it isn’t immediately obvious.]

You ever seen it? It’s a pretty stupid movie, but Snoop Dogg is in it, and honestly, dude saves basically any heap of shit he’s in.

[that is to say, Dave thinks Starsky and Hutch is pretty great. but he pauses, tilting his head back to the ceiling.]

Dunno about space school though. Haven’t gone in so long I doubt I could be bothered.

[Almost on cue, when he sits down alongside him, he rolls the back of his head against the wall to keep an eye on Dave. The positioning of his body shouldn't be comfortable, but it is anyway, and he nods when asked.]

Fo' shizzle. [Completely deadpan in his response, like it was the most natural thing to say.] Watched a ton of movies back home to keep the house from bein' quiet all the damn time. I just, uh. I can't stand quiet. Makes me really anxious, like I can't sit still. Which is probably like... one of the reasons I didn't do so hot in school anyway.

I think I saw this one where he was like... a straight up gangster, no holes barred kinda dealie. He basically was this girl's ex before he went to prison? Or something. And he comes back when he gets out and kinda messes everything up. I dunno if he saved that movie or anything, but it definitely was super effin' surreal.

[But that was nowhere near the tone of slapsticky shenanigans that Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson got into, and he puffs out his cheeks as he turns to look at the poster again.]

If I ever went back... you know, back home... It wouldn't be that long 'til I graduate. It's kinda crazy, too, that a few more months here and I'll be 18.

[Being all over the place with his thoughts and what he says is usually a good indicator that he doesn't have everything neatly organized in one place in his brain, which is, to say, he's probably struggling here.

But he stops himself. Was it mean to bring up going home? If he left, what would Dave feel like? If Dave left?]

You love that movie, right? And those are the actual shades from it and everything. I think you said your best friend gave 'em to you. What's he like, by the way? I don't think I remember you talkin' about him too much.

You’re probably thinking of Baby Boy.

[“all over the place” isn’t really anything new for two kids who zoom from a serious thought about death to their own sort of slapstick toilet humor and then, especially lately, at least, to something a lot more affectionate. but Dave thinks he knows Ryuji well enough by now to tell when his “all over the place” isn’t the usual kind, if the current situation weren’t making it obvious as it is. and he wants nothing more than to be able to help him out here.]

[and, it’s not like he hasn’t thought about what would happen if they ever got sent home. he likes to think he’d find peace with knowing Ryuji was out there somewhere, safe with his friends and his mom. maybe he’d figure out a way to check in once in a while. that’s kinda goofily optimistic, but he’s sure as hell thinking it, and maybe that’s just something else about Ryuji that’s kind of rubbed off on him.]

[anyway.]

I think I know what you mean, though. About the quiet. I usually had music playing for the same reason.

And, you’d probably get along with John. He’s a goofy dork that loves movies and is easy to be friends with. ‘Cause he’s friends with everyone. He meant these shades as a joke, I think, but the joke kinda wound up bein’ on him, since I’ve been wearing ‘em for three years straight now.

Yeah! That's the name of it. Shit, you're a walkin' NMDB database on Snoop.

[The details of the plot start coming back to him. A momma's boy who didn't want to grow up and accept intimacy basically screwed around with the love of his life for the entirety of the movie up until some major shit goes down and he wises up a bit.

But as for the current thing that's eating away at the back of his mind, he probably does think that it's better for his friend to be away from all of this hell. It's a little scary to know whether or not he's going to remember everything that happened here, too. Or, worse... what if you don't go home after being here? What if there's just some nether in-between that you get stuck in? This is all too crazy to necessitate the thought over. Makoto had disappeared too, he has to maintain his goofish optimism that things are better for the both of them.]

He sounds cool. Also, doesn't really sound like a joke either way. You know, like. All three of you in the Metaverse were offended when I snatched 'em off your kid version.

[And look, they're over there, just doing their uniquely shitty glitching thing.]

Are your eyes sensitive to light? And, was John another person who could play around with time? Man, I got so many questions. Tell me if I'm talkin' too much.

[... i can't figure out what the n in that stands for and i'm afraid to ask.]

Yeah. I dunno if pissing off Shadows is part of the strategy in dealing with 'em, but if it is, then you figured what to do in one go.

[.......]

I tried them on, by the way. [it was bad. in an entertaining way for Dave, maybe, but bad for basically everybody else.]

But nah, not really. My bro was always wearing shades, and so I always wore 'em, too. And, all of us had different aspects that were like our thing. Mine's time. John's is breath, which meant he could wave his arms and hero up the wind or whatever. Last time I saw him he was zapping around everywhere and dissolving into the air like a total blustery goofball.

[he figures Ryuji would probably ask, so he goes ahead and just continues. sorry ... about Homestuck.]

Rose's was light. For her, anyway, it meant she could look at the situation and figure out the best path forward using some kind of mental magic crystal ball, or, uh. I never really got what the hell she was on about, just that she knew where we were, and where we needed to go.

My other best friend's thing was space. Which is fucking overpowered to begin with, but due to shenanigans she got merged with her invincible pet god dog. I'm sure there was a whole fuckload of other insane dog powers she had, but she mostly just teleported both people and other shit around.

[It definitely stands for net... like internet, only way cooler than IMDB and a little better oganized. Not by much, though. It's still a clunky piece of shit.]

Did you see the world through young Dave's eyes? [No, he has a guess what happens when you put them on, but that's a level of bullshit that he's far, far removed from.] Anything you steal from there is like... a copy of the original. But sometimes you can like... put a copy in a Cerox machine and it'll still kinda get messed up.

[Oh... John's a wind type?

That's one surefire way to kick Ryuji's ass. One good swirl of it and he's down on his ass. But good catch, since he was going to follow up with the other questions about the rest of his team, and preempted by Dave's explanation, he sits there, eating this cronch ball of knowledge like it's an hors d'oeuvre. Sounds cool though, being able to see here and the future- and then, what the fuck?]

Merged... with her invincible pet god dog.

[Homestuck is so fucking weird.]

Like. God. Not guard? Guard dog. No, god dog. [He heard Dave right the first time, he's just... slowly putting it together what someone would look like if they got infused with ole yeller.] Floppy ears 'n all?

Kinda sounds like your brand of bullshit though. [He doesn't mean it nearly as offensively as it comes off-] How'd you guys even get those powers, anyway? Was there like... a Rocky training montage scene and suddenly you could bend time and space, reek havoc with your breath and uh, become a fortune teller? We had to pull off our masks and it was kinda bloody as shit, but then we could start summonin' our personas.

Messed up's a good way to describe all that, yeah. So's "my brand of bullshit."

[Dave, for his part, isn't actually as offended as that might sound. having a brand of straight up bizarre bullshit to begin with is probably a Sburb prerequisite — at least, he hasn't met anybody who's been able to prove otherwise. so he just continues on.]

God dog. Pointy ears, though, and powered by this giant fuckoff green sun me'n'Rose tried to blow up, but wound up creating on accident instead, because of course we did.

[they argued the entire way there, with no parents to yell at them to sit as far away from each other as possible in the back seat of the car. that's the Strilonde brand of bullshit!]

[Dave will keep on answering, as long as Ryuji keeps on asking. he can't dish out the motivation like Ryuji can, or at least he doesn't think he's capable of it, or nearly as good at it. if this is helping at all, he'll do it as long as needed.]

You can mess around with your aspect once you enter the game, and there's definitely leveling to do and fraymotifs to buy. There's a quest, too, if you feel like actually playing the stupid thing correctly.

But I guess if there was a catalyst, like a major event like ripping off your own bloody mask — that sounds painful as shit, by the way — it'd be reaching god tier.

[There wasn't really a motivation for coming over tonight on Ryuji's side of things. If Dave isn't great at being a motivational speaker, that's cool. He probably doesn't have to do anything more than be himself, because that's the sort of safety and comforting thing that pulls him closer away from anxiety and panic over his room being empty. Ryuji's coping mechanisms are pretty weird, honestly, and he knows that. So, yeah- it's helping. He's bound to crack and come bumbling forward to talk about it at some point.

Because really, it's not a bad thing that Ren isn't in a place that can literally turn him into a ghost or force him to be cracked out on days without sleep, or put wires in his cheek. Maybe he's home now, and he doesn't have to live with the reminder of this place every goddamn day.]

Green sun... [Also, the more he talks about his life before coming here, the less Ryuji thinks he actually understood a whole lot of it to begin with. Just when he thought he was getting used to Dave's god tier powers, too. It's not horrible as much as it just leaves him wanting to try to fill in those pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that he thought he already had figured out until he realized that the edges were a whole lot bigger than he originally framed it to be.] Wait, you created a sun? Can we go back to that? You created a sun.

You're too OP, dude. You gotta be nerfed.

[He smiles shortly, turning over to look at him again. He doesn't want to say the corny, lame ass thing that he's thinking right now- about how Dave is great at brightening up his day, so it's not that far fetched. But then he catches himself; NO, THIS IS REALLY FUCKING FAR FETCHED. Flirt averted.

And try as he can to hold two conversations at the same time, he's kind of horrible at it, but gives a shot to try and explain how he came to acquire Captain Kidd to begin with.]

It was, kinda. I told you about that teacher, right? The one who broke my leg. Not only was he a major fucking scumbag in the real world, he was just as bad in the Metaverse. He was our first target, and I remember that goddamn... smug ass face of his when he had his foot on Mona's body, and Ren was down. He told me that I was trash and that... anyone that's with me, I'm gonna bring them down too. Said he was going to break my other leg and play it off like self defense again. Ren told me to stand up for myself, and then I heard this voice in my head, tellin' me to accept the rebellion in my heart. I forged a contract and then... I pulled the mask off. It was the most powerful I had ever felt in my life. Kinda like... I dunno, at that moment, I had purpose or somethin'. Somethin' to protect.

Edited 2018-08-28 03:17 (UTC)

[Dave's not all that great at sticking with one topic either, honestly, and even though he's supposed to be circling back to his hand in creating the Green Sun, he just. zeroes right in on Ryuji's story instead.]

[and it is a hell of an origin story. maybe he wasn't there to see it for himself, but there's absolutely something admirable in finding the guts to stand up to a piece of shit who'd already won once before, and was probably on track to win again. it's probably silly to mention how much Dave can relate to that, because they relate to each other on pretty much everything, honestly, but there it is. he and Ryuji just wear all those similar traits and experiences differently.]

[he ... isn't really sure how to express that, exactly, so he goes for asking his own questions, instead. because, he's realizing there's a lot he doesn't know about the sort of shit Ryuji faced back home, too, even if he never expected to have to face it here. maybe it doesn't hurt to sort it all out with each other, just in case something else like that happens again.]

[which, god. nobody aboard this space station deserves Homestuck mechanics.]

And you ... fought him. Uh. Stole his heart. Dunno if those two concepts are really interchangeable or not. You said it was in a palace, right?

[And aside from Mona and Joker, nobody on the team was there to go through that with any modicum of experience. They were taking stabs in the dark about everything, hoping that a talking cat knew what they were doing and trusting him by nature of his own air of confidence on the matter. By the time Yusuke joined the group, the four thieves that had founded the team had known what to expect out of a palace, or at least had some idea of what the owner of such a twisted world was really like.

Kamoshida had taken something from him that he couldn't ever really get back, but expressing the hope that having nothing really gives you, is something that Ryuji can't really put to words. Even if his name was forsaken, the only thing he was good at laid to waste... giving into the idea of having nothing to lose makes everything within your grasp to take. Like a corrupt heart.

And, boy, talking about this sort of stuff is a tangential way of expressing how impacting not having his best friend around really is. So, it's cool, in a way. His fingers find the sheets below him and the edge of a pillow to fiddle with as he continues on. For someone that went by from his team's reassurances and his own hunches, it wasn't exactly easy trying to explain a palace, or how fucked up they really are. But then again, it's also... probably not easy to describe why in god's creation that you had to destroy an entire star, and by doing that, give birth to it at the same time. Actually, the latter is probably much worse to try and piecemeal the cause and effect of events. He should suck it up.]

People that are... that seriously screwed up to have a palace... there's like. One giant support beam that holds the entire place together. It's a treasure. Like, Xelda style, master key, open that thing up and claim your prize typa thing. But it doesn't exist until the person out in the real world feels that their secrets are gonna be exposed.

[Which is, a total existential kind of crisis that Ryuji has... no fucking clue how to explain properly.]

When you make them afraid that it's gonna happen, the treasure appears. If you can steal it, you make the person confess to all the horrible shit they did. So, yeah, we fought Kamoshida because he wanted to protect it, knowin' that if you took the support pillar down, everything would come crumblin' to pieces. Oh, man... it was straight up effin' weird. Dude turned into this four armed naked baby man with horns and the longest, grossest tongue that you ever seen, sittin' in front of a trophy with womens' legs stickin' outta it.

[He feels like he's talking an awful lot, and simmers down, not even realizing he had pulled Dave's pillow into his lap in the process since he was distracted. He sighs, pushes it back off, and tilts his head.]

What a pathetic bastard.

Edited (dont mind me here, just fixing mater key to master key........) 2018-08-30 14:49 (UTC)

[using a bomb to create a celestial body while your best friend asked a video game to reset the universe wasn't so much an outrageous event as much as it was an outrageous made possible because that's how it was supposed to happen all along. the Green Sun couldn't not exist, because its influence was already in play before Rose's wild blowing up the Green Sun (but actually creating it) mission was even a concept. Paradox Space is weird like that.]

[and maybe that's a fucked up concept, that there's a very specific end point you're supposed to be reaching all along, that there's only one "correct" path. but Sburb players, kids like Dave in particular, are constantly straddling the line between having free agency and having the choices you made ultimately be the ones you were always supposed to be making, which sort of comes with the notion that your choices don't matter. like a ship somehow reaching its final port without an actual course charted, then turning around and realizing that not only had it already been charted for you, but you somehow followed it to the letter. there wasn't really anything or anyone to blame for it, either. it just was.]

[that's not really a comforting thought. and he's learning with each passing minute just how supremely fucked up of a war Ryuji was fighting before coming here, and Dave's thinking he wants to come up with the words to undo the damage having to endure something like that must have done. he'll sure as hell try, but ultimately, he can't. because there's no undoing it. it just is.]

[he hesitates just briefly, unsure if he's doing the right thing or if he's fucking up somehow, before he has to shut down that line of thinking right quick. they've had a month and a half of doing this, of figuring out where exactly they were in being affectionate with each other, of finding that place and slowly inching further along down that line. Dave's leaned on him how many times now? and he's reached that place where he is more than willing to push past any silly anxieties he has and initiate.]

[so he scoots closer, turned very slightly, lifting his arm in a sort of inviting gesture, offering Ryuji a spot to lean on him if he wants it. and if he doesn't get the hint, Dave may eventually just be bold enough to pull him into his arms, like he'd briefly thought about doing what feels like a million years ago, when music was blaring and Ryuji was hallucinating.]

If I'm bein' honest, here. It sounds like you were dealing with some seriously heavy bullshit that you didn't deserve at all. I know me saying that isn't gonna undo any of it, or like ... anything that's happened here.

But, for what it's worth ... I mean, as defining as some of that can be for a person, it still seems pretty obvious to me that you're still fighting. Which I think is pretty damn admirable — and it's something that I like about you.

So. You know. [Dave will keep fighting if Ryuji does.]

[It's relatively weird, when going through it, he never really thought it was a lot. Everything that happened over the span of 8 months went by so quickly, and each palace brought stakes that were increasingly worse; enough to make that fight or flight response take place, cementing that they had to get their asses in gear. 7 days until expulsion. 3 days until the world finds out who they are. 2 days before he calls the cops. 1 day before justice finally caught up with them. Dave says that he's been through a lot, and it's almost like the first time he's hearing it. None of the thieves had probably heard that either.

Ryuji raises an eyebrow at the gesture at first before it clicks, and he finds himself leaning up against Dave. Takes him a moment to get settled in, and maybe it's awkward at first? Ryuji's pretty awkward to begin with, but it's leagues better than just moving a pillow around from point A to point B mindlessly. He looks up from his vantage point and sees the outline of a chin, a nose, hair- it's new, but it feels good, something he might've wanted for a while without actually knowing he did to begin with.

And it's not like his weird mood is suddenly made a million times better or assuaged in a way that dulls it to the point of nonexistence, but it's comforting enough to think that it's cool if he is going through it, like there's something there for him to get wrapped up in for a bit and deal. He figures he'll be okay, and yeah, still fighting.]

Yeah, you know what I really didn't deserve? Like, at all? There's a shadow out there that's a literal giant dick, strummin' along on a chariot with reins attached to other little dicks that pull it along. I could take giant man babies, but that's. That's the line, right effin' there.

[He allows himself to put a little more weight up against Dave. He can handle it, right?]

But, uh... yeah. I get it... It's something I like about you, too. Dude, honestly... I really never thought that there'd be someone out there that could accept all this shit and still wanna... I dunno. Still be cool about it. [Not exactly, cool- he tries again.] That'd still wanna be with me. I guess we've both been through an actual shit-ton of crap, so maybe that's like, a cosmic tick in our favor. I know it's only been a few months since we met 'n all, but really... I dunno what I'd do without you.

[it's a little awkward at first, maybe, but it's not like Dave's all that great at this either. it takes him until Ryuji leans a little heavier to remember to actually do something with that arm he'd raised, and he does, wrapping his arm around him and giving what he hopes is a comforting squeeze.]

[hell, he'll even lean into it, too, resting his head on top of Ryuji's, his cheek smushed and everything. and he just. sort of blanks out trying to picture a dick chariot being pulled by a horde of other little dicks.]

[......]

Yeah, I. Shit, I don't have the slightest idea what say about a dick chariot. That's more material than I know what to do with.

[phrasing, Dave.]

But ... I know what you mean. I gotta admit, I never really expected to be talkin' about this, but since you kinda already saw it, uh. I figured anybody would have taken one look at all the pretty fucking out there baggage I'm lugging around and bailed. I'd been telling myself for a while that it'd be better that way. I didn't want to ... I dunno, make someone else carry that shit, too.

And I mean, I still really, really don't. But the fact that you didn't bail kinda makes me feel like maybe it's okay to not be okay. Y'know ... together, I guess? I dunno what I'd do without you, either — and all that kinda gives me this completely cornbally hope that there's a "real" okay out there that can be reached.

God, that's so lame.

[.....] And I'm okay with that, too, weirdly enough.

Edited 2018-08-31 02:47 (UTC)

[Fixated on some other point at the moment he drops the dick chariot bomb, he blinks, and then lets out a stifled laugh from the back of his throat that comes up just short of a cough caught back there and left to die. Yeah, he's really mature, especially in the face of mature topics like this. He leaves out the gut reaction of a dick joke that's forming in the back of his head in light of the other stuff that's going on.

And once that instinct is gone, Ryuji finds himself struggling not to interrupt with his thoughts on the matter, to make some attempt at reassurance over the whole thing. If he were in Dave's shoes, he knows he'd feel the same way. Making other people heavier on account of himself is something he's tried to avoid for a really, really long time. He doesn't know how many times he's said things like... not wanting to cause his mom any more problems, or downplayed the things that were getting to him with comedy so he could try to go through stuff on his own. And maybe it's really not all that healthy?]

It ain't that lame. I dunno about baggage or any of that shit, really. I just know me, and I know I'd feel the same way. And I'd be pretty pissed if someone came around and still tried to carry it stubbornly, 'cause I wouldn't wanna put that stress on anyone else when it was something I was causing to begin with. Pissed at them and pissed at myself. There's just stuff that happens and you can't control it, stuff that happened to you or maybe shit you've actually done that you ain't that proud of. But that's just how it is... that's just how life goes, and just having someone else carry it doesn't actually make it lighter, it's still the same weight. But I think... being there for someone does.

So... yeah, I wouldn't want you to be my bellhop. And... it is cool if things aren't okay, but I wasn't about to ghost you just for having to face that shit. [He buries his face into Dave's chest- it's a lot of emotions to get out there in the open, and he doesn't know if what he's saying hits the mark, just misses, or goes overboard, at all.]

There's no way in hell I'd give up on you.

[when in doubt, dick jokes!]

[but they're setting out into uncharted territory again here, trying out the closeness thing at a different angle, and every single time that happens it makes his heart rate jump about a thousand fold — Dave just hopes Ryuji can't tell from his current vantage point, because whatever nervousness he has aside, it's not like any of this is unwanted.]

[bottling it all up absolutely isn't healthy, on either of their ends. and Dave's about as equipped to speak candidly about himself as he is equipped to be physically comforting, which is to say ... he isn't, but he's trying really, really fucking hard, if not for his own sake, then for Ryuji's. patting his back seems a little too ... casual? is that the right word. why is he worrying about which gesture would equal most affection and comfort when there are a million other important things he could be focusing on?]

[but he hears things like "there's no way in hell I'd give up on you," and it's just like he's reloading Dave's desire to keep trying, to keep moving forward, to keep trying to show that he's not about to give up on Ryuji either, and maybe that's just part of the figuring shit out process, too? he tries something like an arm and shoulder rub instead, just running his fingers up and down Ryuji's arm lightly.]

I know. I don't think ... I'd want to be your bellhop either, dude. That kinda implies to me that you'd owe me for it, or that I want something in exchange, or — something. When all I really want is to just be right here. You know. Not givin' up on you, either. Regardless of whatever might get thrown your way, or whatever you might have to deal with.

[he has to bite back the instinct to dismiss his own feelings as lame again, because he's been built up to act that way for so long, and he's just had someone tell him that no, they're not lame, and that's sort of peeled back another layer, bore through with the point that they're his feelings and he's allowed to express them without that caveat, even if he's said he's okay with being lame.]

[that's just the sort of thing that Ryuji is doing to him.]

Maybe kickin' the bellhop to the side and pushing the cart ourselves would be a better metaphor.

[Should he ask if he's having a heart attack? That uptick in his chest is pretty noticeable and his eyes wander upward to Dave to make sure that he's alright. And when he sees him doing perfectly fine, he doesn't bring it up; figuring that this is just a part of Dave being nervous or caught up in trying to figure out what the right thing to do here is. He gets that. He has the same problem, but they've been good at navigating it despite the headwinds that have been tossing in both their heads. But, yeah. The stronger those get, the better they seem to be at pulling in and here they are, Dave's hand trailing up and down Ryuji, and Ryuji subtly-but-not-subtle-at-all moving into it.

It kickstarts entire neural networks into overload, little forest fires all along the synapses, and even though that's happening, it's a controlled slash and burn straight to his heart. He's so calmed by it.]

Mn? Yeah.

[There should be more to be said after that really touching exchange, but Ryuji's so content to just be at the moment, that he's not buzzing around with a million words in his head all to come tumbling out within a moment's notice. It catches up to him, though, and it's a rare moment for Ryuji to feel like it's okay to be protected, or looked after. Even better when he hears Dave say that he wants to be there with him, side by side. Which isn't lame at all, actually. It's a really good feeling.]

You're gonna make that poor dude lose his job.

[The bellhop metaphor, right? He reaches across his own chest to find Dave's hand somewhere in mid touch of his own forearm, brushing his fingers against knuckles.]

I mean, if we're pushin' that cart to a vacation hotel room, count me in. Hell, I'll even tell the front desk that one bed's fine 'n all. I don't even care.

[Oh, wait. Ryuji's face burns again. He caught himself thinking about something he might've wanted here and now and intermixed it into their bantering metaphors that dance around each other in ways that keep the both of them safe from layers being peeled back. But pulling away from the comfort zone like flicking icicles off a rooftop, he kind of just... goes for it.]

Hey... Can I stay here tonight? It's... uh. I mean. Y'know. With you, maybe? [It'd be misdirecting if he said it was because he didn't want to sleep in an empty room, since that was a part of it, but honestly, it's less of a lack of dependence on Ryuji's side now and more of a... not wanting to leave Dave after they both just spilled pieces of their hearts out to each other. So he'll be honest about that, too.] You don't gotta say yes just 'cause I'm askin'. I just... uh, I know it might be too soon 'n all, but I really wanna stay with you a bit longer.

[It's his heart rate that's rising now, and shit, it's really, really forward of him. He holds his breath inwardly.]

[Dave had opened the door and let Ryuji in with some expectation that this might turn into a sleepover, at least, but then he goes and adds the "romantic getaway suite" point to this bellhop metaphor they're working with, and suddenly it sort of feels like they could power the entire space station on their heart rates alone.]

[he doesn't say anything at first. and he'd stopped the movement of his hand when Ryuji reached over, but after a minute he starts again, not absently, but not so hyperfocused on it either.]

[he's weighing how comfortable he is with the idea, of just ... designating a comfort zone and then sprinting out way past it anyway, prepared or not. what he does know is that the last thing he wants is to ignore that request, to leave Ryuji alone by himself with thoughts he might not have gotten around to sharing yet — he also knows that he found that his comfort zone expanded to include the last few moments pretty fucking quickly.]

[so ...]

Yeah, it's fine. Do, uh ... do you need anything from your room? I can go get it. [you know, so Ryuji doesn't have to go back in there if he doesn't want to right now. maybe more pillows and shitty space blankets, or hell, Dave can even captchalogue an entire fucking mattress if they wanted.]

[and there's something calming about that, too — about making the offer out loud. like even though neither of them really seem to know what they're doing, there's at least an idea of where to start walking next.]

[In a normal kind of sequence of romantic events there's a wide variety of expected outcomes and behaviors beginning with- flirting, a date, maybe a few conversations about getting exclusive, snogging a little bit, steaming up the back window of a car, and then on the far, far end of that is sleeping in the same bed as the person you're seeing. Ryuji and Dave don't really follow that pathway at all, and jump constantly between points like timelines don't really matter at all. Maybe it's the station's particularly good effect of fucking with people, or maybe this still would've gone this way even if they weren't both here. Who knows, but... also, who cares? He went with his gut instinct here, and it wasn't telling him Ryuji, this is a bad idea, and usually that's enough for him to move forward to a point. Or several points.

He doesn't really know, of course he doesn't- he's only ever really seen one relationship in actual practice in his entire life and that mold was so moldy and gross and abhorrently violent that he's constantly left trying to figure out what that's supposed to look like in its healthy shape to begin with. But then again, he knows Dave doesn't either, so when he asks to sleep over long before the steaming up the shit out of the car's back window, yeah, he's sprinting forward far beyond the confines of the track lane that he has set in front of him.

And it would've been completely okay if Dave said that it wasn't alright, that they needed to step back a little bit and slow it down. He doesn't always know how intense he can be, which is something he knows about himself well enough that it's gotten him into trouble plenty of times. But Dave doesn't say no out of all of this, and Ryuji is wordless at the reply. Almost like he didn't expect a green light to begin with.]

Oh, okay, shit.

[Eloquently put, he sits up and out of the grasp he gotten so comfortable in. Wait, asking Dave to go into his room and collecting his stuff for the night? Ryuji wants to be stubborn here and tell him that it's okay! Really, it's okay. He'll have to go back in there eventually anyway, and he can't have an anxiety attack every single time he looks at the place on the wall where the Rise Kujikawa poster used to be. Because that's what it was, right? Anxiety that Ren was gone.

And yet...]

You sure you don't mind? [About, well, everything.] I guess... like, my pillow and blanket would be cool or whatever else you see laying around. And if Lisa's in there, could you make sure she has water? I know I filled up her food bowl earlier and. Stuff. Shit, are you sure you don't want me to do it?

[He unlatches his smartwatch from his wrist, looking down at it before he holds a few more inches away from his own body, toward Dave.] And, like. I don't really ever need much anyway.

[... wait, shit. did he answer wrong? was he supposed to be coy or less agreeable to make the both of them more comfortable? like maybe they should stick to the usual, expected line of dating events and work their way to this point? there’s a moment of panic there, like Dave thinks maybe he’s read the room wrong or something, maybe he should try to back up there.]

[but that doesn’t feel right, either. Ryuji wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to stay here, he’s pretty fucking sure of it. and following the “appropriate” steps to date someone, to build up a relationship by the books perfectly ... that sounds an awful lot like playing a game. like living one of those goddamn romance novels. input experience, output corresponding level of boyfriend, right?]

[Dave is so, so sick of games ruling his life.]

It’s fine, dude. I mean, if it is with you. [and he means that for a lot of things, too. he knows Ryuji meant it when he asked, but he can’t help but confirm again, a little bit awkward. maybe a lot awkward.]

[he reaches over and takes the smartwatch.]

It’s ... not a big deal. I mean. Yeah, it is, in about a million different fucking ways, honestly, but. I dunno. Doing shit our own way’s kinda been our thing since day one.

[god, that probably doesn’t make any goddamn sense. but Dave isn’t really talking to his current task of fetching some extra bedding.]

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