oculusriffs | ic contact for reverienet

siR DaVE, KnIgHT of TiME

wE kNow whAt yOu'VE dOne, yoUr tiMe iS Up.
yOuR cUtE anD tWisTeD wAyS hAve gOne nOtiCeD bY thOsE wHO hAvE tHe PoWEr tO mAkE yOu coNfeSS yOuR dEEpEsT sINs. wE wIlL stEaL yOuR HeArT rIgHT frOm yOu aNd aIM tO tAkE yOu bY cOmPleTE sURPriSe.

MeEt Me At tHe ObSErVaTIon DeCK at 8Pm ToNIgHt
Or wE wiLL bUrN thE mOnKeY PaJaMAS

Edited 2018-09-09 01:29 (UTC)

[....... oh my god.]

[not the monkey pajamas!!!!!! for the sake of the jammies and also for the sake of his own piqued curiosity, he’ll oblige this ominous troll quirk of a not very anonymous person at all.]

yeah ok ill be there
gonna need confirmation that the pajamas are safe though
maybe you should send a pic
preferably of whoever this is wearin em
its the only way to be sure

[is Ryuji even gonna answer him. oh well ... it’s worth a shot.]

[Not so much an answer as much as a picture, with a conspicuously familiar looking hand holding onto a plastic knife from the kitchen, held out over a bunk bed that also looks familiar, straight up mugging a pair of pajamas with no one in them.

Do it or the 'jams get them.

Or some sort of message like that.

But now Ryuji has to weigh his options AGAIN of whether or not his dignity matters more than making Dave smile and... it's going to be rough.]

[in all fairness, at this point, even though Dave genuinely loves the monkey jammies, he probably also says shit like that because he enjoys Ryuji's reactions.]

[like ... actually mugging a pair of 'jams instead of indulging him. stubborn. it most definitely leaves him smirking at his smartwatch, though, so maybe Ryuji can cross that off as a victory anyway.]

[but when 8 p.m. rolls around, he's there. or, at least, walking right up into the observatory, casual, maybe, but also definitely way more curious.]

[It's a good thing that he has a buffer of a few hours between the text and Dave coming up to the deck to begin with. He needed some time to set the stage for the sequence of events he had planned out, and he was only one boy. Maybe he could've convinced Hajime to help him out with this entire thing, but he didn't want to be teased for it, and there was something cathartic about going solo on this mission. Either way, time ticks down and Ryuji gives one last look around before nodding his head. He's had his hand in creating a stage set for a Shakespearen play, and insofar as much to say that set was complete bung, this was a much simpler kind of thing to manage.

And, alright. Looks like he's good to go, and with a few moments to spare, he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, and exits the deck. He wanted to be there before Dave got there, but it doesn't look like that's happening, so he stands there, albeit a little awkwardly, with a half used roll of caution tape acting as a hideous fashion statement a la bracelet on his hand.

Ryuji smiles sheepishly. Any pretense of this being an actual heart theft operation is kind of shattered by how innocuous he actually looks here.]

Uh, hey. So I got this calling card saying to meet someone at the deck. You?

[His particular shit-tier level of lying shines through as his smile starts to expose teeth.]

[the Shakespeare set was ... something to behold, that's for sure. but Dave's on the record as saying that being good at art is overrated. having fun and cracking dumb jokes when it's warranted is what he gets out of his own terrible drawings, at least.]

[there's just the slightest tilt of his head as he looks Ryuji over, noting the caution accessory on his wrist. the ... hell are you up to, dude?]

There was something about saving some sleepwear, yeah.

[and — damn if that smile of his isn't a little bit contagious. Dave's isn't nearly as obvious, but Ryuji probably knows him well enough by now to spot it in his features.]

[He's trying to keep his own excitement levels down, even if it's peaking through like the way light does through window blinds in the morning, and he has to force his lips closed so conceal the dopey grin that's definitely there.]

Okay, well, I... uh, well I took a look in there and I just gotta warn you, it's like. It's pretty messed up. Like some sorta monster went on a rampage and there's blood and guts and gore and it's just. It's a goddamn mess.

[He pulls out lip of the caution tape's end, struggling with getting his fingernails under the piece to grab onto a strip that he can use to serve as a barrier to the crime scene. Takes an attempt or two, but he finally gets a nice, long strip going and places it somewhere midway of the doorframe before biting off the edge with his teeth and fixating it downward. He does it again to make a giant X.]

You wanna check it out?

[At least no one else will be foolish enough to try and enter, right? Who crosses caution tape?]

[the more time that passes, the more excited Ryuji seems to be about ... whatever it is he's done here, and the more he cordons off the crime scene, the more Dave's curiosity skyrockets. did ... did he paint the entire deck in weird replicator ketchup? is the burrito supposed to be passing by? — are they gonna fire weird replicator ketchup at the burrito as it passes by?]

[maybe instead of running wild with theories, Dave should just respond to the offer.]

Yeah, all right. [it's said with the sort of intonation that suggests that there was no way he was gonna say no. lead the way, Ryuji.]

[No, but a ketchup canon would be really cool. Like a super soaker for french fries... and maybe burritos? Who puts ketchup on a burrito?

On a more serious note, Ryuji presses his smartwatch up against the door panel and lets it swish open. He has to duck to get under the caution tape that's barring entry from anyone of usual sound mind and body that would want to get in here, and waits at the other side.

It is, not in fact covered in blood and guts and gore like he promised it was. That was probably... somewhat obvious, since there was no way in hell that he could've kept a straight face while saying that. What awaits Dave, though, is the fruit of Ryuji's labor over the last few hours. He found a book with pictures of all the major US cities in it. He'd been dismantling the thing, page by painstaking page, and taping them all over the windows of the deck. In retrospect, figuring out how to dim the lights a little bit was the easy part.

And hey, look, there's two bath towels spread out on the floor near a cluster of pictures of Houston. Nowhere near the real thing, but it's the best he can do. And now that they're both in there, he scratches the back of his head and looks over at him.]

So, uh. Whatcha... think?

[you put ketchup on shitty burritos. it's ironic!]

[okay i lied]

[this sort of deflates his current running joke about Houston being overrun with emus and the cowboys who wrangle them. and maybe Dave had said once that he wouldn't want to go home, if home were Houston and if Houston were lacking the presence of the people who matter most to him.]

[but all of that is sort of blown away into irrelevancy for the moment, when he gets a look at a place he hasn't seen in bordering three and a half years, and when he silently moves forward, zeroed in on a photo in particular. it's' nothing special. just a park with lots of shade from a line of huge oak trees. a swingset or two. a photo book's quick glimpse into what urban life there looked like.]

Huh. This is a couple blocks from my old apartment. [you know, before the apartment got sucked into a video game. it's the only comment he has on it for now, but Ryuji might understand the significance of having a park to escape to for a few hours, when sticking around at home wasn't worth it.]

[hell, he even spots a picture of AstroWorld, before they tore it down, built up right there next to the highway.]

[Dave isn't really the type to get incredibly, outwardly excited, but the same muted sort of energy he always has when he's into something is there. it might not be a direct answer to Ryuji's question, but he can do that in a minute, too.]

[He absolutely remembers that conversation, crystal clear. It made him hesitate when he thought about doing this to begin with, since it could've gone a few really crappy ways. What if Dave didn't want to see Houston at all? He said it didn't matter to him, so maybe it wouldn't have been a great idea to throw this up here like this. Then, there was also this pretty goddamn haughty message that it could send, too, like "yeah, but I'm here, so it's not like it's lacking the people who matter most to you"- which was also something Ryuji wouldn't play into.

But it also doesn't seem like it's a miss when he starts talking about his old dives either. Yoyogi Park was his own version of it, in both form and function, and shit, if he didn't know every single jogging path in the place by forcing it into memory. Just, y'know. No oak trees. Also, Ryuji would like to pick a bone with Dave. There definitely didn't look like delicious cow pies and green pastures in any of these pictures, but that line of thought could wait a little while longer.]

Looks like a pretty chill place to me. All that shade would be great for runnin' when it gets hot out. But, even after seein' all this.

[Ryuji moves forward to take a look at some of the other ones, too. After a while, some of these picture started looking similar to each other across the different cities, like the photographer in question had a few things that they loved taking shots of and motifs appear across a bunch of them.]

I thought... maybe, y'know. I guess I really wanted to know what it was like. But then it kinda hit me that. You'd probably be the part I like about it best anyway. So... [He scratches the back of his head, a little unsure of what he's trying to get across. It's easier when he just speaks from the heart, so he goes down that familiar mode of conveying himself.]

So I figured if we can't have a date there, I'd bring the date to us.

[that's ... whoa. that's almost a little bit overwhelming — Dave's a kid who had no shortage of people who give a shit about him over the past few years, but he has ... maybe had a bit of a shortage of having things like this. having someone go out of their way to do something just for him, just because.]

[maybe that's why he finds his smile pretty damn quickly this time around.]

I'd be down for a date. [sap and all. Ryuji probably doesn't need that pointed out to him, but it might be hidden in the way Dave bumps shoulders with him lightly, then just goes ahead and lifts his arm, casually draping it over Ryuji's shoulder that's closest to him.]

It's, uh. It's pretty fuckin' cool that you put this together. Didn't think I'd be the type to get into nostalgia, but damn if I'm not feeling it right now.

[so ... thanks. thanks is what he's saying.]

You want the grand tour? Or you want to chill for a bit?

Sorry, don't have any apple slices to share with you for this one.

[Ryuji thinks he's sharp as fuck when he says it, cheeks rising upward as he licks his lips to cover the excitement and obviously playful attack he's made on Dave. He presses his head down to the left, right where that draped arm is casually resting on his shoulder, giving a really weird fucking sort of hug out of the entire thing.

Which is to say, yeah, he knows he's cool. Even though he's not, really.]

Oh shit, I'm just, like. A samurai lookin' dude caught in the wild wild west. Ain't got a goddamn clue where we are right now.

[Because samurai definitely had wavy hair that was slowly becoming more brownish black than unnaturally processed blond and totally rocked the wire-in-cheek handmade earcuffs that Ryuji has fastened those months ago.

He clears his throat, gesturing up to the six flags that once was-]

Is this the place where all the rodeos happened and the cow pies were served?

[samurai ... yeah, no. not even ninja, honestly? but the wavy, mottled hair look isn't a bad one — hell, if one were to ask Dave, he'd say that Ryuji wears it pretty damn well. the weird body horror inspired earcuffs aren't too shabby either.]

[but that train of thought's pretty much entirely thrown off the rails and flung into a brick wall at Ryuji's question. his shoulders slouch just the slightest, arm still comfortably settled in place on Ryuji's shoulder.]

What?

[.........]

I mean, you can get cow pies for free. You just need to drive northwest a bit.

Don't think you'd actually want to be served one though, dude.

[This almost has all the charm of being in a natural museum, staring on at artifacts of the distant past, like a civilization that's been long gone, and holy shit, are cowboys cavemen in that analogy? From their current perspective, this was all, what... 500? 600 years ago?]

What, what?

[The place actually looked a lot more like Destinyland than a hootin' nanny type of square dance hall, so he's not even really sold on the whole thing. Ryuji loves roller coasters though, and as much as theme parks were typical hot spots for dates, there's nothing like the thrill of being dropped from a really high place and spun around upside down a few times. His friends didn't really agree with that so much. Or, at least, their stomachs didn't.]

Man. I never learned how to drive. Sure, like, Joker was in charge of the catbus and everything, but I was just sittin' shotgun the entire time.

[What's wrong with cow pies????]

They sound effin' delicious. An entire pie made outta beef. That's like. The best of both worlds. Dessert and dinner all rolled up into--- [...] Dave, what the fuck is a cow pie?

[this is one of those moments where Dave's mostly impeccable ability to keep a straight face is a blessing.]

[because he genuinely had no idea Ryuji didn't know what a cow pie was, and this revelation has been delivered to him bundled up in extra layers of "what?" and "oh god, oops, ran into a language barrier" and "holy shit lmfao."]

Okay, hang on to the word catbus for a few more minutes, 'cause I've got questions.

But a cow pie is just shit. I didn't even think about that not — translating correctly? Is that what happened there. I think that's what happened.

[sorry ... the dinner Ryuji's thinking of is just a plain old meat pie. but hey, he knows where to get those, too.]

[Catbus.]

[Catbus. Okay, held. Maybe he'll try to draw a picture of the Mona bus one day for Dave.]

[Okay, so you date a hot American guy and some things are bound to come up a little wonky in the differences department from time to time. And sometimes you might think that eating cow shit is a delicacy without knowing it's actually made out of cow shit to begin with, so Ryuji's just standing there, staring at a picture of Houston and.]

FORREAL?

[He feels like he's a kid again, mistaking the difference between the creature that moos and the word delicious, and as he ducks out from under Dave's arm, he turns to him and proceeds to blow his lid.]

THAT'S SO GODDAMNED DISGUSTING.

[And immediately, he brings his hand up to his mouth, wincing. For the record, no, no he doesn't eat shit!!! Not that that was ever really brought into question, but he points down to his skateboard with a tablecloth drawn over it, not far from the towels spread out.]

Dude.

DUDE.

I made us a picnic and everything. It's got, like, 4 types of toast. D'you know how effin' long it took to try and tell a replicator about different types of bread!?

[in all fairness, Dave pretty much just texted it and blazed on ahead without offering any context clues on what the hell a cow pie actually is. he's suddenly struck with the urge to come clean about the hootin' nannies, too, as he turns his gaze to the picnic skatetable, and.]

[................]

That's. [that's really fucking sweet. it's more than Dave thinks he deserves, cow shit aside. but. surely the replicators wouldn't have ... actually...]

[....................]

[it seems Dave and Ryuji have found themselves in another shituation.]

[and he's kind of having a hard time reading it, to be honest. he's not quite sure if Ryuji is mad at the toast or at him. both would probably be fair?]

Wouldn't the machine have just made whatever you were figuring it was, and not an actual. [you know.]

An actual steaming turd pile wrapped up in a pie plate?

[It's okay, Ryuji will go right for it. Man, of course this would happen to him. Either way, he's effectively considering all the ways to send his skateboard out into space to join its brother out there in the hall of shame vis-a-vis bad food replicator mistakes.]

I dunno and I'm way too goddamned scared to even look.

[So... not everything is exactly perfect, which is pretty unrealistic to think that he could work the finer details out to allow it to be that way, but as he moves his hands upwards across his face, he rubs his eyes and drags downward again.

And starts laughing. At himself. Them. Cow pies, whatever.]

Guess we're gonna have to stick to... just desserts...

[Dave's sort of on the same wavelength, there, because he'll probably later suggest they give the cow pies the usual treatment. except this time it'll allegedly be ... literal shit ... going down the toilet.]

[this is, at least, completely in line with everything else they've done the past few months.]

It's cool, dude. I mean, I'm pretty sure you were giving me a rundown on a whole list of Japanese slang at the same time, and I didn't even throw you a bone on half the shit I was talking about.

Kinda makes me wonder about the other phrases out there that're like that. And I might be wondering about the desserts, too.

I think it's the sorta thing where you don't know until you hit 'em?

[Yeah, this is completely an extension of their uszh. There's a ton of stuff he could try to teach Dave about when it comes to his home, but nothing comes to mind so apparently strong that it strikes him in any direction.

And it gets him to thinking about how different culturally they really are? Ryuji's only really ever known other Japanese people, but standing in a hall filled with pictures of America, those sort of differences are a little more apparent than usual. Not that any of that actually mattered here, up in space, after all. It's not like either of them are shining beacons of the refinements of their respective home environments.]

Aight.

Can I ask my hot American boyfriend to teach me more about his slang, then? [Ryuji smiles, albeit a little sheepishly. Comes up pretty much every time he mentions the b word to begin with, but he's getting better at it for sure.]

Oh, yeah. Dessert. Man, I kinda wish I still had some twizzlers to share with ya, but. Spoiler alert, it's a cupcake. I tried to ask it to, like... draw a heart on it?

[Oh, boy. Biting down on his bottom lip, he shrugs, and bends down to the portable picnic basket he's got going on. Underneath the cloth is what looks like some sort of baked goods pie, but he sure as shit (...) ain't touching that, instead opting for a cupcake in a small container that has a flat, cylindrical displacement of icing.

He pops it open to show Dave, and lo and behold, it... sure is a cupcake. With an anatomically correct looking heart on top of it, scanned in some way like it was 3D printed on.]

...Yeah

Yeah, of course — only if I get to ask to the same of my Japanese boyfriend.

[and he's tinged very slightly pink when he goes ahead and responds in kind. it's for a lot of different reasons, but not being coy with the b word is probably the most blatant one. the instinct to obfuscate his intentions, the urge to hide what he's actually thinking, is always there, but the desire not to right now is overriding it. and it's a word he thinks Ryuji deserves to hear.]

[repeatedly, even. that was just a warmup pitch.]

[but then he's presented with a cupcake with a human heart printed right on it, not unlike one he probably had in a jar on his shelf at some point before he traded up for something even more questionable, and how was Dave Strider not on a government list somewhere?? and, well, he does seem pretty damn fascinated with the replicator's accuracy. Ryuji may or may not think he's struck out with how weirdly the cupcake turned out, but honestly, it's also just about the right level of weird for Dave.]

You ... really put a lot of thought into this, huh? [he doesn't mean it incredulously. if anything, it's surprise in his voice, swirled with the occasional pleased note. birthday dinners on a meteor or birthday gifts in the mail are one thing — having someone think of him enough to put together a space date among photographs of your hometown for no reasons he can surmise other than Ryuji was just thinking of him is ... well.]

[well, one of the other reasons why he's still flushing is probably pretty obvious now.]

ic contact for reverienet

@PhantomThieves

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

this is cute as shit wtf

it's been two months in the making!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject