[Fixated on some other point at the moment he drops the dick chariot bomb, he blinks, and then lets out a stifled laugh from the back of his throat that comes up just short of a cough caught back there and left to die. Yeah, he's really mature, especially in the face of mature topics like this. He leaves out the gut reaction of a dick joke that's forming in the back of his head in light of the other stuff that's going on.
And once that instinct is gone, Ryuji finds himself struggling not to interrupt with his thoughts on the matter, to make some attempt at reassurance over the whole thing. If he were in Dave's shoes, he knows he'd feel the same way. Making other people heavier on account of himself is something he's tried to avoid for a really, really long time. He doesn't know how many times he's said things like... not wanting to cause his mom any more problems, or downplayed the things that were getting to him with comedy so he could try to go through stuff on his own. And maybe it's really not all that healthy?]
It ain't that lame. I dunno about baggage or any of that shit, really. I just know me, and I know I'd feel the same way. And I'd be pretty pissed if someone came around and still tried to carry it stubbornly, 'cause I wouldn't wanna put that stress on anyone else when it was something I was causing to begin with. Pissed at them and pissed at myself. There's just stuff that happens and you can't control it, stuff that happened to you or maybe shit you've actually done that you ain't that proud of. But that's just how it is... that's just how life goes, and just having someone else carry it doesn't actually make it lighter, it's still the same weight. But I think... being there for someone does.
So... yeah, I wouldn't want you to be my bellhop. And... it is cool if things aren't okay, but I wasn't about to ghost you just for having to face that shit. [He buries his face into Dave's chest- it's a lot of emotions to get out there in the open, and he doesn't know if what he's saying hits the mark, just misses, or goes overboard, at all.]
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And once that instinct is gone, Ryuji finds himself struggling not to interrupt with his thoughts on the matter, to make some attempt at reassurance over the whole thing. If he were in Dave's shoes, he knows he'd feel the same way. Making other people heavier on account of himself is something he's tried to avoid for a really, really long time. He doesn't know how many times he's said things like... not wanting to cause his mom any more problems, or downplayed the things that were getting to him with comedy so he could try to go through stuff on his own. And maybe it's really not all that healthy?]
It ain't that lame. I dunno about baggage or any of that shit, really. I just know me, and I know I'd feel the same way. And I'd be pretty pissed if someone came around and still tried to carry it stubbornly, 'cause I wouldn't wanna put that stress on anyone else when it was something I was causing to begin with. Pissed at them and pissed at myself. There's just stuff that happens and you can't control it, stuff that happened to you or maybe shit you've actually done that you ain't that proud of. But that's just how it is... that's just how life goes, and just having someone else carry it doesn't actually make it lighter, it's still the same weight. But I think... being there for someone does.
So... yeah, I wouldn't want you to be my bellhop. And... it is cool if things aren't okay, but I wasn't about to ghost you just for having to face that shit. [He buries his face into Dave's chest- it's a lot of emotions to get out there in the open, and he doesn't know if what he's saying hits the mark, just misses, or goes overboard, at all.]
There's no way in hell I'd give up on you.